SideWorld

I kind of hate to do this, but...

2010-05-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting here for months. It's sad but true. I may start up again after school gets out, and if I have anything relevant to say, but the fact of the matter is, I don't right now and it's sad. And I've really got to be keeping my grades up because I NEED my GPA to be at a certain level in order to get into the Education Abroad Program's trip to Israel for next spring. So without further ado...

That being said, if anything important does come up, it will go here. I'll may (or may not) be updating my livejournal sporadically, but it's not like I've got anything important to say there either. I may try to get posts from there to update into here, but that's not going to happen until I know I'm out of the woods, grade-wise. I miss this blog. Part of me wants to get back into it, but it's obviously not going to happen now. I could just be postponing the inevitable by not just letting this blog die, but I'm too scared to admit it.

I may just be growing out of blogging. I've been growing out of a lot of things lately, unfortunately...

Wish me luck. This universe needs to be conquered.

Current Music: Blame It On The Girls — Mika
Blame it on the girls who know what to do!
Blame it on the boys who keep hitting on you!
Blame it on your mother for the things she said!
Blame it on your father but you know he's dead!

I'm on a horse.

2010-02-24T10:49:00.000-08:00

I finally have goals. It took a year and a half of college, a potentially failed Literature class, Mandolin lessons, Latin 1 and 2, an essay about Shakespeare seeing aliens (ask me how, I'm an expert now), a week without my computer, and several grueling days of depression, fatigue, angst and bitter morose self-loathing, but I've finally got goals.

I've finally decided what I'm going to do. Are you ready?

I'm Majoring in Creative Writing,

Minoring in Classical Studies

I'm extremely happy. For a while I had nothing going for me except draining my parent's money and that made me sad. And I'm totally comfortable with getting a job as a Starbucks manager. It's going to be rad. Wish me luck!

Current Music: From Yesterday — 30 Seconds to Mars
On his face is a map of the world!!

Banjolele Solo!

2010-01-16T18:05:00.000-08:00

My baby has been delivered. I'm naming it Miguella (after Miguel from Road to El Dorado, gif at bottom of post)!

Just got back from my EPIC adventure with one of the good roomies from the music shop (which is freakishly close), by way of taking the wrong bus, going all the way downtown, going to the drug store to get hair stuff and chocolate, going to get sushi, magically making back to the bus station just as the right bus was getting ready to go and making it to the shop.

So, I don't actually have a valid photo ID. I had a California ID that expired when I turned 18 (back in '08), and the guy was all "We need your driver's license and credit card please!" and I was all "Z'omygoodness!" and had a minor freakout session in my brain. And so I gave him the card and was all "This doesn't quite work," and he was like "No it's perfect." then started filling out the info and was all "Oh, it's expired."

And I was so stupid and my voice got super high and I asked "Is it?"

So bad. But I got Miguella!

It's all okay, I've got my rental Mandolin, and I'm starting classes on Wednesday, and everything is bueno! I'll be sure to keep you all updated on this, my first entirely independent of anything every adventure in my life! Coupled with my recent joining of BSN, I think I'm on my way to becoming an entirely new person! Wish me luck!

TO ADVENTURE!!
(you can't see this if you're reading this from facebook, you fiends).

PS: New classes are alright. Not sure how I'm feeling about them entirely, but I'll figure it out. I'm working harder than ever to get published an make it to J.K. Rowling status and be able to drop out. A girl can dream!

Current Music: Riddles in the Dark — Chris Thile
Instrumental.

If there's one thing that I've learned from life is that it gets you in the end...

2010-01-08T18:30:00.000-08:00

Just writing to let the few people who read my blog (and it's ultimate import into facebook via the magic of the internet), that I'll probably be posting less here, as I've been using my livejournal (it's nice, check it out) a lot, as it is a little more convenient. I'm not sure right now what I'm going to do with this blog... it's most frustrating. I'm thinking that if ever a deep and meaningful idea strikes me, I'll probably put it here, but my day-to-day and memes will go to the elle-jay.

That being said, the deep and meaningful going on in my life is revolving around my lack of direction. It's depressing, and then I get depressed, and people tell me that a good way to get out of depression is to get some goals and things to work towards, and the vicious cycle starts up again. The lack of passion in my life is not okay. And I mean, I know I'm not going to have great big adventures, but I'm not emotionally involved in really anything. That's not how it should be. Hopefully I can get around to changing that. I'm seriously considering some OPERS Rec stuff at school. Mandolin is what I'm thinking. I need more music and art in my life, just saying. Wish me luck I guess.

PS: School has started again, and I've got some decent classes and teachers, but nothing so far is very moving and inspiring. Just same old. Sucks to be a sophomore, I guess. Thank God it's Friday. :)

Current Music: The (Shipped) Gold Standard — Fallout Boy
You can only blame your problems on the world for so long,
Before it all becomes the same old song
As soon as we hit the hospital I know we're going to leave this town,
And get new passports and get, get, get, get, get out now!

My tiger is now fast asleep...

2009-12-24T14:06:00.000-08:00

Alright everyone, here is a list of the most recent Things of Note!! Get your towels ready, it's about to go down!

→ Horrid GPA this year. But I'm more concerned with the fact that I'm not as concerned as I should be. I guess I'll just try to do better next quarter. :/

→ 30 Seconds to Mars in concert was fucking epic. I cannot handle how cool it was, even now, almost 2 weeks later. I mean, they opened with Carmina Burana (youtube link), and flashing lights, and crazy AND IT WAS AMAZING!!! I've never been happier, honestly. (And there's a video Here if you want to see one of the songs they performed, and watch what happens to the camera when a crowd-surfer kicks me in the head. It was so awesome) (Look at my Jared Leto picture. That's how close I was! :D)

→ Avatar was AMAZING. Am going to see it again, as soon as possible! :D

→ Some fanfiction has been making me crazy. I'm usually okay with the idea of AU's (alternate universes), and seeing how people think the characters would react in different situations. But some of them are getting kind of ridiculous. Like, a High School AU is pretty okay. An AU based in a Bakery is pushing it way too far! Although the fact that they titled it "I knead you," I suppose makes it alright, but I'm still a little miffed.

→ !Xobile the iPod has come back from the dead. See this video to learn more!

→ Look at these funny pictures I've taken with my webcam!

My new 30StM shirt, my epic sugar-cookie, and my candy-cane pipe turning me into an old man. Click to make bigger.

→ I've been bombarded with family crap this year, and have very little time to do any social stuff of my own recently, which is most distressing. I'm most distressed indeed. Indubitably even. I don't know when I'm going to have time to hang out with my friends at all. My brother's friend is coming down from up North where things are colder the day after Christmas, so I'll be helping keeping her entertained, along with trying to get all my crap back together by next week. I'm kind of bummed. I'm going back to school on the 3rd! What is this shit? Whose responsible this!?

→ It's Christmas Eve! Which means either today or tomorrow I shall be posting here and on my LJ about my epic haul of goodies! And I'm pretty sure this haul will be epic! The epic! It burns! :D

Merry Christmas

Current Music: Don't Rain On My Parade — Glee Cast
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter!

Munngate 2009. I survived it...

2009-12-09T17:27:00.000-08:00

So, I was worrying about wearing something authentically punk-rock-ish to the concert, featuring 30 Seconds to Mars on friday, as it will be my first 30StM concert. Then I realized that I would not be happy if I did that. I may look really cool, but I certainly would feel like one of the standard emo, slightly weirdo 30StM concert goers, see below.

I may or may not have found the
most frightening of the 30stm fans...
Maybe it's because I'm not super-happy with their new CD, or maybe it's because I've never really been one of their intense hardXcore fans, but whatever the case is, I'm feeling liberated as I declare that I am not going to change any part of me for them. There will be no zippers, and there will be no abundance of black. I have learned one thing from ontd_startrek, and that is that I am a GQMF, and I that's good enough! I will be there with my Pokémon sweatshirt, and my shit-eating grin, and probably with my Reindeer Antlers. Here's to being a crazy one.

In other news, one final down, one more to go. I did so badly on my Geology I'm surprised my scantron didn't spontaneously combust. It was a very bad situation on the whole filled with a lot of "Hmmm... I haven't used a B in a while." sort of thoughts. Like, I know I got one of them right, but the rest were basically me throwing my hands up in the air saying "fuck yeah! anything goes bitchez!!" So, good on me, I guess. /pulls out sword. To war! /rides into imaginary sunset.

Current Music: Vox Populi — 30 Seconds to Mars
This is a call to arms!
Gather Soldiers, time to go to war!

All I want for Christmas is Chris Pine studying Latin with me...

2009-12-07T18:53:00.000-08:00

(Reblog from my tumblr. If you have a tumblr, let me know, I do love "tumbleinds" which is what tumblr followers would be called if I ruled the world).

Sure, I’m excited for Christmas and gifts and whatnot, but I’m more excited for one of the days before Christmas when I get up the energy to make cookies. That’s the only time my brothers will be in the same room together. They actually talk to each other, which never happens at all. It’s bizarre and different and I wish it happened more often. My family is so weird and anti-social, even with each other and I kind of hate it. I like to think that I’m slowly making them bond without realizing it. Maybe one day we’ll be normal again…

This year, I’m hoping to make;

Peppermint Bark
A Gingerbread House and/or Men
Spicy Pepita Brittle
Peanut Brittle
Sugar Cookies (along with making my own Star Trek Cookie Insignia Cookie Cutter)
(Possibly) Brownie Pops (There’s brownie under there, recipe)

Last year I only made Sugar Cookies… I’m kind of hoping the extra stuff will keep the boys in the kitchen for longer.

Also, I'm super excited, because I'm seeing 30StM in concert on Friday. I'm so excited. So so so excited. I just have to get over my finals, and come home on Thursday. I get to take the BART to Oakland, which is going to be scary, but fun! I just have nothing to wear I wanna go to Torrid and get something moderately Punk!Rockish. And I'm really bummed because none of the places where I buy pants are selling black jeans. How hard is it to find black jeans? really?! That's exactly what I need for this event! And possibly a top with zipper enhancements!

Also, also. Finals are a beezy. They're all the way at the end of the week. I honestly could not bring myself to really care about them. I really just want them over with. My first final isn't until Wednesday!! WEDNESDAY! and I don't give a damn about that class anyway, so I'm not even really studying! Just let me get it done with! I am bloody serious! This is not okay!

Also, also, also, I'm more upset about not having the same Latin teacher next quarter (or possibly ever). I'm a wee bit sad, because I'm not sure he realizes how amazing his class was for me. It was so much fun, without a doubt the best experience I've ever had learning here, or anywhere. And I can't tell him now because it's almost finals time, and I'm not in the mood to look like a brownnoser. I'm going to wait until grades come out and send him a note or something. Balls. :/

The end.

Current Music: None

Happiness is like peeing in your pants...

2009-11-26T13:21:00.000-08:00

I have made Cranberry Sauce! I have created sustenance where once was only sugar, orange juice, frozen cranberries and various spices! With this glorious act, I have conquered the excitement of all the protons and electrons of the universe! I have made art where once was nothing!

But seriously, I've spent all morning cooking with my mom (though taking breaks to check on my LJ, FB, Twitter and Tumblr friends), and now we're kind of in the home stretch in terms of Thanksgiving Dinner. There is a large, poultry-like thing in our oven, and two amazing looking pies on our table. My mom has made several dishes of vegetables that I probably won't eat much of, because we have made not one but three dishes full of stuffing. My Cranberry Sauce has been deemed edible, and my ability to peel potatoes is unrivaled. I've played several games of Rugber (that's Rugby/Soccer) with the wheelie stepping stool in our kitchen, much to my mother's chagrin. I'm going to be practicing some Arnis with one of my brothers (Philipino Stick Fighting, for those who are normal and don't know what Arnis is) sometime this week, and I'm going to watch Star Trek with my mom, and South Park with my other brother. My BFF is coming over to eat, even though she just got back from Japan TODAY (and she's El Salvadorian, so the rest of my family have this running joke of keeping an Indian around for Thanksgiving, so that makes them happy). And it's perfectly sunny even though it's November.

Aw yeah, friends. I'm thankful.

Current Music: Crackling Animal Flesh
Help me, help me!

I'm so full of ennui!

2009-11-17T19:01:00.000-08:00

So, before I start my post, I've got a few questions. Just general consensus stuff. Nothing difficult, just to get an idea of what you think So, guess which day Amazon said Star Trek would be delivered? The answer to that was "today, November 17th." (Write that answer down, it'll help with the next question... just a hint, shh!) Now, this next one's a little harder, so I wouldn't mind if you got it wrong. Guess which day Amazon did not deliver Star Trek?

Take a guess...

Yeah, I'm sure you got the answer right. It's "Today, November 17th."

This is pictoral proof of their promise! They promised, and now I am left in the dirt. The dirt, my friends, the dirting dirt! The DIRT OF LIES! THAT IS WHERE I AM LEFT! THE DIRT WITH THE LIES AND THE BUGS AND THE HORRID, HORRID THINGS THAT GRAVITY TENDS TO MAKE FALL TO THE GROUND!!! What a cruel world this is. I feel the urge to scream, loudly and with abandon!

I'm feeling a little homicidal right now. But mostly sad. First the GQ thing, and now this. I hope all of you can understand how much of a swirling black abyss my life is right now. Because it is swirling and black. Excuse me while I cry a little, and rock back and forth. It's just not fair at all. And I'm completely retarded in terms of Latin right now too. Chapter 13, you're confusing as hell, and you make me sad. And I did the homework, and nothing makes sense, but there's a strike tomorrow, so I'm not sure my teacher is having office hours.

I suppose the only thing to do is look through my bookmarks and work on my Christmas List. But even that does not move me right now. I wanted to listen to Commentary, and watch the DVD extras, but alas, that is not the case. Today is a black day my friends. A black day indeed.

Current Music: Life Less Ordinary — Carbon Leaf
The night you came into my life
Well it took the bones of me,
Took the bones of me!
You blew away my storm and strife
And shook the bones of me,
Shook the bones of me!

So if you care to find me, look to the Western Sky!

2009-11-13T10:13:00.000-08:00

I was going to study, but since I saw this, I decided that camping out in front of Borders until they get GQ is far more important.

(click for bigger please!)

He was in GQ a little while ago, but now my husband is on GQ! He is officially a GQMF! And look at him looking so fly! Hot damn! And his suit? Brilliant stuff, my friends. He looks incroyable! I'm just gushing and flailing here. It would be embarrassing, but my roommate is a Twilight fan, so the world has nothing on me.

In other news, I saw Where the Wild Things Are, and did not particularly approve. It made me feel really bad, not in a "oh, that movie was soooo sad!" kind of way, but more of a "that movie just emphasized everything that sucked about childhood, and then decided not to resolve any issues, and took a nihilistic approach to life causing me to feel utterly hopeless." Which sucks, because I've got a Where the Wild Things Are sweatshirt (from before the Indie-craze for the movie), and now it represents something I'm not particularly fond of anymore. The book was great, the movie just wasn't. And I can't wear the sweatshirt, because now it is Indie-chic. Woe.

And, in lieu (guess how many times it took for me to spell that correctly?) of content, an embedded video for your viewing pleasure (anyone reading this from the RSS feed that's being imported to facebook would do well to mosey on over to my blog proper).

Defying Gravity, Star Trek Style

Anything that combines Musical Theatre and Star Trek is obviously the best thing to happen to anyone. This video is going to cure cancer, as well as bring about burning, scrumptious world peace!

Finally, a quote from my Latin Teacher, to round off the random of this post.

Have you changed your facebook to Latin? I’m having a blast with mine, which is very revealing.
— Magister Blood, UCSC Latin Teacher

Current Music: Defying Gravity — Wicked
I hope you're happy! I hope you're happy too!
I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition!

It's a moment of truth, and a moment to lie...

2009-11-08T13:05:00.000-08:00

So, I went to see my counselor about the Hebrew Class. It was too late to get it changed to Pass/No-Pass. What should I do then? I asked, sounding naive and frightened. D'ere is only v'one option! my counselor said entirely without an accent, but I think the accent's funny, so it's staying. You must-a, v'ithdraw from ze class. Ze deadline to do z'at is tomorrow (this was last Monday) and to not do z'is v'ill ruin your JeePeeEy. Do you accept z'ese terms? And, as I had no other choice, I said I would withdraw from "ze class." And then she said Fill out z'is form, after cutting open your hand and dropping ze blood of your hand into z'is inkwell. Uze ze special pen, here.

And it was done. I'm now only taking two classes, and am feeling like a complete failure. I'm getting tired of all the people who keep saying "Withdrawing from ONE class isn't a big deal." It feels like a goddamned big deal. I don't remember ever being a BAD student. Like, the worst I've been was Chemistry in Junior year, or possibly French in 7th Grade. You know what I got in those classes? B-'s! B effing MINUSES! I was getting a genuine F in my Hebrew class, and then I couldn't get it changed to Pass/No Pass!? It's so annoying because I WANTED to take that class. Really badly. I LOVED that class. I love Hebrew. It was such a cool experience, but I was such a fuck-up that I couldn't do it. And I sat in the front of the class every day too... didn't help. I'm just going to go into a hole now. Kthxbai.

(To assuage my sadness, I just recently upgraded my livejournal to a paid account. I'm looking for icons to put up (I can have up to 35! That shit is ridic!). But in doing so, I've realized how much crap I've got on my computer. I'm a little concerned by the amount of icons I've got just lying around. I must have over 2,000. It's dumb.)

Current Music: This Is War — 30 Seconds to Mars
To the right, to the left!
We will fight
To the death!

LL&P/DIAF/ZOMGYAY!

2009-10-31T16:49:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Shit-Creek Tours, your destination is currently "Up." There will be a grouping of exciting animated gif's to accompany this post, because Betsy has decided to completely ignore photobucket for the rest of her life, and only use tinypic.

Life = Black Abyss. There's just so much going weird/wrong right now that I cannot even compute it. I'm failing Hebrew. Literally FAILING. And like, I knew early on that I wasn't getting it, but I still wanted to take the class, because, duh! It's fucking Hebrew. I've been wanting to learn Hebrew for so long, just so I could say stuff if I ever GO to Israel (which I think would be rad!). But like I said, I knew I wasn't getting it, and I didn't want to be left all screwed up after the cut-off date for changing it to pass/no-pass, so I changed the class to pass/no-pass. I was on the web on Thursday, and I went to the UCSC site looking for something else. For the life of me, I cannot remember why I went to see if the class was put on graded or pass/no-pass (my subconscious was perhaps telling me of trouble ahead of time, as it has been wont to do as of late), but the class is still on graded.

If it's on graded it still affects my GPA. I'm currently failing Hebrew. That's a 0.0 worth of points for GPA.

/flips table. /flips out.

So I email my counselor asking if there was anyway I could change it after the cutoff date (this was after I went onto the website and tried changing it and having it tell me I was not authorized to do such a dastardly thing), and they said that I needed to make an appointment (I called after immediately after I got this email and they put me on the machine, and have NOT gotten back to me after 48 hours), and that if the change was in the AIS they could easily make sure it will get changed on the UCSC site. Evil... pure fucking evil. Pooh.

Streep!Nun might have to choke a bitch.

Or get Spock to do it.

But I think the world's way of rewarding me for this horrible plight against my soul, however, was my bus trip home yesterday. I was feeling shitty immediately after my Latin mid-term, and I missed the 12:00 bus home (or to San Jose. Super-bummed I went to Borders to wait until the 1:10 bus came along. I grab a book (Sookie Stackhouse novel? You betta recognize!), head back and wait in line for the bus (as it is wont to get crowded). Pay the fare, get on the bus, and am dicking around in my bag/with my iPod when I see one of the guys from my Latin class getting on the bus.

Correction...

One of the CUTE guys from my Latin class getting on the bus.
(it deserved 'sparkletext!')

And guess who was sitting next to an empty seat, and invited the cute guy from my latin class aka, Sparkles to sit with her? Guess who had almost two-ish hours of actual conversation with Sparkles? (Okay, I'm done with the sparkles) So, yeah, just guess. Okay, stop guessing; it was me!!!! He has a girlfriend, and there's no way in hell we would EVER in a million years be together, but I'm just so proud of myself for taking initiative and just talking to him. I wouldn't have been able to last year, so I'm happy. Like SUPER-HAPPY!!

Happy-dance!

I'm becoming like a real person! I'm a real-live person! Hooray!

Finally,
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
I'm writing 'book' on my face.
"Facebook" Get it? :P
♥ The Office

Current Music: Falling In Love At a Coffee Shop — Landon Pigg
I never knew just what it was
About this old coffee shop I love so much...

I wanted you to linger...

2009-10-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

I have a question for all of you; Do you ever feel like you're waiting for something? That's the only way I can describe this certain state of ennui I've been in. It can't be just boredom, and I know I'm not entirely depressed — since I'm well acquainted with the effects of depression... ask me how! — but it just feels like there's something essential missing in my life, and I'm just waiting for it to happen. And I don't know what it is. It's just a something that I don't understand. That's how vague it is in my head; "a something." And I am never vague, let alone vague in my head. I always know at least what I mean, even if I'm not understanding everyone else, to a point of almost finite detail. Needless to say, this something {to be herein known as the "deathsomethingfucker"} is really screwing with my system.

Deathsomethingfucker, your inarticulate vagueness is angering my soul. Just give me a sign! /throws hands up in air.

(Also, I am shaking my fists. I wanted to go to the "Flirt Prom" collection by Maggie Sottero, and THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING THERE UNTIL THE NEXT PROM SEASON!!! Wayne Bradey is gonna have to choke a bitch. Right. Helling. Now.)

Current Music: Apple Candy — Ben Lee
But you smell like Apple Candy...

See you after school. Do you know what I am saying?

2009-10-19T16:29:00.000-07:00

It's cold and wintry here in a way that I do not appreciate at all. It's too cold for coherent thoughts, so I present a list.

• Watching Whale Rider online in a not so legal way...
• Failing Hebrew.
• Finished Screenplay, not sure what to do with it now.
• Spending more time than is healthy on Zen of South Park
• Runaway destination of choice for the mo' is New Zealand.
• Or Paris...
• Or anywhere but here.
• Latin is still funny and awesome, but it's hard for me to enjoy it as much because it's right after Hebrew... but I hate to think that my teacher thinks I'm bored. I'm not bored, just miserable for other reasons. Glory day.
• I really wanna learn how to surf still, but the weather is not working out for me.
• I went home last weekend, but it really only felt like my folks wanted me there so I could help them with their epic dinner party of epic. I move further away so that when I come home it actually means something next time...
• Bored.
• I wanna be pretty. :(
• Maybe Prom dresses will cheer me up...

Current Music: None.

We were the Kings and Queens of promise...

2009-10-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

Urckh. Day of sheeeet. I bombed my Hebrew Recitation and Vocab Quiz, and I know for a fact I got at least one BIG thing wrong on my Latin test. So yes, even if I had done exceedingly well on the tests, I still would have had three tests in one day. I'm allowed to call this day a day of shit. Then I broke the paper-towel dispenser in my kitchen. So yeah, even shittier still.

And, the worst thing evar (not really), I'm working on my screenplay of awesome, and one of the lesser characters is gay, and I hate the fact that I have to decide whether or not I want to keep that, or if it's just too much of a stretch. He's a nice guy, with a mini-crush on a straight guy. But society kind of sucks. If I was presenting this to a bunch of girls, there would be no problem with it. But guys kind of suck. Anything homosexual scares the crap out of them, even if they claim to not care. I'm terribly vexed. And it's like, the smallest plot point in my thing, and it's causing me the most grief. Especially since nothing will ever come of this screenplay other than it existing thanks to me. X(

I grumble at the world. Grumble grumble grum!

So, here's some slash, to appease my ire at society at large.

Also, everyone should listen to "Apple Candy," "Kings and Queens" and the Glee cover of "Keep Holding On," as well as watch "Flashforward!" (sans exclamation mark) which is quite possibly the coolest show I've seen recently (not counting Glee). You should watch/listen both because they're rad songs to begin with, but they're def. keeping me from going completely insane.

Finally, my tumblr (curse the awful spelling!) is looking pretty sweet. I still don't like tumblr, but it looks good, and I've been finding some neat stuff as of late. So that's helpful, I guess.

Current Music: Kings and Queens — 30 Seconds to Mars
In defense of our dreams...

'Cause you smell like apple candy...

2009-10-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

The time has come for my quarter-life crisis! So I turned 20 yesterday, which was awesome. And I got a shitload of facebook comments, which was awesome. And my family sang to me through the phone, which was awesome. And I got to hang out and have dinner with the awesome roomies/apartmenties and some of last year's manly men from down the hall, which was awesome. And we saw "Zombieland" which was awesome. And then the roomies/apartmenties and the manly men threw a surprise party (the diner and movie was a ruse!) which was doubly awesome, and I felt very very happy indeed.

All in all a quite awesome day! :D

birthday dance anyone?

Or perhaps just some CPine for the viewing pleasure...

This is how I feel right now.

Also, I got %107 on my first Latin Quiz. I think I found my language of choice. Happy day? Yes. Hopefully I can keep this up. I'm feeling smart in that class though, so I think I may be able too. The only thing I hate right now is my CA geology class, which is lame. I have a quiz tomorrow. Hell yeah for winging it! :D

Current Music: Apple Candy — Ben Lee
And you smell like apple candy,
And we're singing hallelujah...

My Latin teacher is AMAZING!

2009-10-02T12:32:00.000-07:00

So the class may be hard as hell, and I feel like I'm falling into a pit of conjugation-y despair the entire time, but I'm almost positive I have chosen the best latin teacher I possibly could find. He is so awesome and I'm pretty sure he might know it, but loves being the nerdy awesome that I have strived my entire life to become. I am bleeding from my eyeballs with declensions and verbs and all sorts of disastrous goodies (and I've only done the first two chapters), and I don't think I've liked a class more (though Raja, from Astronomy, who dressed up as a Black Hole with an Afro is pretty close).

Magister Blood: Do you know where the word 'fuck' comes from? It's actually from Latin. From the verb 'fornicare,' which actually comes from the word 'fornix.' Can anyone tell me what a 'fornix' is?
Student: It's a whorehouse.
Magister Blood: No! It is NOT a whorehouse. It is a PART of a whore house!"

• “You know the term double-entendre. I’m pretty sure Fergie here has mastered the ‘single entendre!’”

• “Now the ‘Vocative’ case is just a direct address, and in the book, it is usually shown with an ‘Oh’ then blah blah blah. Like you guys would say, “Oh, Magister. Spare us today! Let us go early!” To which I would reply, “Oh no, students! We’re going to work on Fergie’s ‘My Humps!’”

• "Okay, so. A verb is at the bar, and he's getting a drink when suddenly a smokin' hot noun comes in. Naturally the verb walks up to the noun and says "Hey, baby. Wanna go back to my place and conjugate?" but the noun says, "I'm sorry, I must decline. I'm banned from telling that joke at home."

• "There's something going wrong with our language recently, where the vowels are collapsing. Now I know what you're thinking. "Oh god, not the ocean levels rising! Not the vowels collapsing! Anything but that!"

Magister Blood is my new best friend... I go to the best school ever.

Current Music: I Gotta Feeling — Black Eyed Peas
I gotta feeling (ooh-ooh!)
That tonight's gonna be a good night!
Yes, tonight's gonna be a good night!
Yeah tonight's gonna be a good, good night!

(Excuse the completely inside joke of an icon. It's from Looking for Group which is an awesome webcomic, and I'm thinking of reading it from the beginning, since it actually isn't that long... rec'd to all of you. :P)

Oh thoughts...

2009-10-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

It's really difficult for me to put myself in a position to deliberately not pay attention. Lectures for school have been burned into my mind as being anything but pure, undiluted mana — to ignore it would be a sin, resulting in 40 (more) years of watching teachers read off of their powerpoint presentations. Needless to say, going into lectures where I do not give a shit is quite possibly the least comprehensible thing I do during the day to day existence here at college. Woeful even, as my time could be much better spent elsewhere. Thoughts and ideas I would have had in one locale are shattered in the less than inspiring lecture hall of horrible seventies architecture.

I miss art. I don't know why, but I remember there being a lot more art in my life, especially at my most creative piques. However, I have no evidence to back that claim. So I guess it's just a moot point. Some days colors just seem brighter I guess. The world was shinier on the creative days. Now it is coming off as incredibly dull...

I don't know. Happy almost birthday I guess.

Current Music: White Horse Cover — Steven Jerzac
But you're not my princess,
This ain't a fairy tale...

PS: One day I'll update with something more substantial. Urgh. I need to go to the gym...

Where are your protestant friends now!?

2009-09-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

First week of Sophomore year. One thumb up. Not two. Things have been interesting here. As usual, I'll provide a list of a few choice things of note, which I think are quite apropos and entertaining or are evil and must be eradicated.

• The heat is hot. Like woah. I want to die.
• La famille and I went camping at Butano State Park this weekend. I got to study in the wilderness. Weird.
• We had a crazy lady at the sushi place me and the roomies went to our first day here. She was genuinely crazy, and sat down with us and proceeded to tell us about the things she stole, and then started talking to invisible people in gibberish. Exciting. We got to be moved to a different table. Fun fun.
• Photobucket is such a dick.
• I miss karate like crazy.
• Part of me only wants to do well in Hebrew class because it's got a lot of actual Jewish people in it who are kind of smug about knowing Hebrew in the first place (but they obviously don't know enough to be able to NOT take Hebrew 1... get over yourselves, plz).
• The Office, Flashforward and Dollhouse. I just watched. Awesome on all accounts! So excited for Flashforward I might throw up.
• I am now involved in THIS! ontd_startrek uniform! Yes? Yes. /hip thrusts. I'm in the middle of designing a coat of arms.
• I'm more interested in the things posted to TED than anything offered as a course in school. I would die to give a talk here. On what, I'm not sure, but a talk nonetheless.
• I might die from too much work. Jfyi.
• I hate tumbrl and yet I tumbl. Go figure.
• Still in love with Chris Pine.

Done. Leave me alone. /hip thrusts.

Current Music: Grounds for Divorce — Elbow
Monday is for drinking to the seldom seen kid...

If not for you I'd tear this place to the ground!

2009-09-19T12:12:00.001-07:00

Last post from home, bitchez!!! /hip thrusts disgustingly. RANDOM LIST OF AWESOME! YUS!!!! Soundbites, Pictures and embedded Youtube Vids. The world is obviously on the side of good.

• Zomg. First, look at my totally appropriate icon!

• Packing sucks so hard it blows (I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks AND blows!). And I've been prepping to move since July 4th (not really, I just like Independence Day), and it's still a bitch. I'm pretty excited, not going to lie, but the process of moving is a real pain. What if I forget something!? Gargh. I've already done this once before, why is it being such a pain in the butt?! I should be chill and cool, and I'm not. I'm very woebegone, in fact. Moving, you are not my friend. But I've got huge emotional ties to my campus that are probably not the most logical. It just feels right over there... weird? Yeah. :)

But really, I'm boldly going! I'm going to do this year right, and I might be bored as hell sometimes, but goddamn if I don't also do some cool stuff too. /hip thrusts victoriously. I'm ready

Let it begin, let it begin! sound bite

• Also, I got really bored, and I was kind of desperate for some writing to get done for my submission to Intermediate Creative Writing, so I started turning my epic musical into a novel, but still keeping it a musical. So I've been going through the scenes I've already written, and writing them in prose style, doing things like describing the music that's playing, and the way the camera is panning. It's totally deadpan and sarcastic, and I am seriously liking it a lot. Like it's literally "Musical; the novel." I'm intrigued. It's only about two and a half pages long — my muse petered out unceremoniously fast — but I'm really loving it. I may get into Intermediate Creative Writing this quarter! Hooray! And oh goddamn! here's a snippet! The main character's name is Liz, but I'm probably going to change that. I have this habit of naming leading females in my stories after some derivitive of Elizabeth (Betsy!), just because then I don't feel so bad that I'm completely fucking up their lives. It's self inflicted. :P

Liz worked in the library. She did so last quarter, and it is only acceptable that she would do so this quarter. It was still her job, whether or not her best friend decided to euthanize herself without physician assistance. After winter break concluded, Liz found herself in the Library more than before, if only to avoid her once-shared dorm room. There was a certain lack of propriety in having a room where one side was empty and devoid of human life, and it was not something Liz was entirely comfortable with.

The music has taken a swing from the previous minor key now. It has a steady backbeat, and is altogether a tad more uplifting, even if the message conveyed is not one that is entirely optimistic.

Liz has a fairly nice singing voice. That is expected though. This is a musical and she is one of the leads. But no one really notices, because it a soliloquy of music, rather than an outburst, and therefore only she can hear herself describing the way things are not normal anymore, though they all seem entirely the same.

• Star Trek in IMAX is AMAZING! That's because Star Trek is amazing, I know, but still. I'm super happy with that being my first IMAX movie. I really cannot think of a better one, honestly. That just makes me happy beyond all reckoning. I'd definitely go again, if it weren't across the Bridge, and weren't over this weekend, and I weren't moving out. Shucks...

• My last Karate class was really fun, but I did so badly. Gurkgh... And it was mostly upper belts, (there were NO colored belts at all), so I was pretty low on the spectrum of things. It was almost nice. Scary as hell, because I was the youngest too, but fun. I just wish I didn't have to leave... Karate's the only way I enjoy working out (the gym is great, but lacks the ability to get bruises through means other than your own stupidity), and no one does our style where I go to school. This is most unfair. I'm a sad pumpkin indeed. /practices Kata all by my lonesome. :'(

• Destiny calling. Hello college once again...

• Finally, my mom got a Roomba. We have named it "Skynet."

Current Music: First Train Home — Imogen Heap
First train home, I gotta get on...

I wonder what color tomorrow will be...

2009-09-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

And here's another post showing off that I really cannot take anything seriously anymore. Things'll get better after I go back to school (doom), because then I'll have boys to pine over and classes to occupy me. But until then I'm just going to be a silly billy. Here's what's been going down!

• I swear to God, the farmer's tan has gotten worse! My arms are so fucked up. All I want is to be the same god-damned color! Is that too much to ask!?!?!

• I finally got my buttons in the mail!!! They're so cute, and I've already stuck them onto my new Kipling bag (a lap-top sized bag for all my collegey needs! Hooray!) I'm def. going to buy some more from this person when she starts selling again. I really like these, and she started selling some cool ones with Latin phrases on them. And of course more Star Trek ones. :D

• Kipling is the only name brand bag I'm willing to buy. Is that a bad thing? I just really like their bags, and the material they use. It's different, and most of it is extremely practical. I went outlet shopping with my mom last weekend and got this bag in black (which is not shown, and which is the one I mention in concurrence with the buttons.) I think it stems from Burkes, when this one girl (I won't mention her name), who was very much on the rich side of things, who I always secretly thought was elegant as hell had a Kipling backpack for her books. It was incredible. I drooled over her bag. I was so envious. This was the first (and for a very long time, the only) time I really passionately wanted something just because someone else had it. (I like their original stuff better. To hell with their pleather fascist crap!), (and I really want the hobo bag Cute cute cute!).

• I was just sitting doing some stuff on FB and I found out that my new Latin teacher this quarter isn't a teacher. He's a grad student, whose graduating from the Graduate (wow, repetitive) program in 2010. And his last name is Blood. I'm not sure how I feel about this...

• AND I JUST BOUGHT TICKETS ONLINE TO SEE STAR TREK IN IMAX! GO ME YUS!!! (We're seeing it at four though, so I'm probably going to miss karate. Boo).

• First I blogged, then I tweeted. Now I Tumbl (don't worry, the lack of proper spelling irks me to no end, that's why it took so long for me to start doing it in the first place).

• Also, one of my friends and I spend a lot of time talking about this guy I used to have a crush on. I don't mind, in fact, her getting her feelings out and being able to vent to me makes me feel at least moderately special (I can provide! I'm useful!). But there's that weird sort of pinching feeling whenever I start thinking about him again. It's really a dull ache by now, but I still can't help but hate myself for spending so much time wanting him to like me. All crushes have that "What did I do wrong, why am I not good enough," vibe to them, and this one's no different I suppose. My friend was actually talking about music that she associates with him, so it got me thinking of music I associated with him. I suppose I am more auditory than I let myself believe because I can think about the boy until the cows come home, but I hear a song I suddenly feel my whole soul just shudder and fizz. It's depressing to say the least. And I think the worse part is is that after the crush died out I told myself that I would not be so pathetic the next time, and I was. I just don't handle guys very well. And that song comes up in my shuffle, and my body starts urging me to wallow in despair. Just for maybe half a minute (or three and a half or so, if I decide not to skip it) I feel like dying.

It's actually kind of entertaining to observe. Oh and look, that song came up on my shuffle...

Current Music: Teardrops on My Guitar — Taylor Swift
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.
He's the song in the car I keep singing;
Don't know why I do...

Pew pew!

2009-09-06T20:18:00.001-07:00

Here's what's been going on as of late!

• Okay, zomg. You must be kidding me. The new VS Sweater Dresses! are fucking amazing. I got the email as I was cleaning out my junk mail folder. I deleted it, and then had to go back and load up the images and I simply died. I wish I had a better body, because I would wear these all the fucking time! Especially this one (and this one and quite possibly this one). I would be the sexiest thing since sex, yo! I hope you understand that I am drooling longingly at these sweater dresses like drooling is going out of fashion! Gurkh.

• I lack TV reception in all the wrong ways, but I finally get to watch Glee. I'm watching it on hulu right now. *hugs self* I want to marry Finn so bad! And the best line "Turns out I don't have a gag reflex." "Well, when you're older that'll turn out to be a gift." *dies happy*

• True Blood is the best show. Glee is the best show. District 9 is the best movie (after ST!Reboot).

• Still can't write.

• I am officially not ready to go back to school. Gurrrrkhhh. I've got ten days until I move in. That's less than two weeks. Not cool man. Not cool at all. I've got a lengthy list of both things I need to get, and things I need to do before I leave. And the problem is I keep thinking of things to put on the list, and have not been able to get things off the list.

• Oh heck no! Is she still downloading fanmixes!? She is! Whut whut! :D

Xenosphere — A Spock-Centric fanmix with only instrumental music.
I Live In This Dream of Maps — A Kirk-Centric mix (scroll to the bottom) I fucking love "California On My Mind" on this mix, btw.
Playing with Matches — A Kirk-family mix. I kind of like the way she set up the song and the quote she was thinking of for it. Quite nice.
From Here On It Got Rough — Kirk/McCoy. I'm not really encountering any mixes that portray this pairing just right (even though I'm not a huge fan of 'pairing' mixes to begin with), but this is the closest, and I really like the music, even if it doesn't really fit with the pairing. :/

• So, every so often I take a walk on this one street that used to be a race track, and is exactly one mile long, in an oval. It's not the best of exercise (karate, fuck ya!), but it's nice, and meditative in a boring, I've known these houses since before I could walk sort of way (not really, but I've been in this neighborhood since I was two). So, yesterday I was finishing up my walk, and about to turn back onto my street, and a car pulls up and the driver asks me directions. I feel like a bitch, but I said, "Oh yeah, just stay on this street! It looks the same, but it's not." and pointed to the one that's the oval. If you stay on that street, you never leave. What can I say? I was feeling bitchy. I saw the car drive by through my window three times before it went away. I'm going to hell. :P

• My farmer's tan will not go away. I've gone from 30spf to 50spf, and nothing's changed. My face got un-tanned, but not my fucking arms! I'm sincerely starting to believe that this is the color they're supposed to be. I'm trying to find pictures of myself as a baby to see if I was just born with weird discoloration on my forearms. Ballsyballs!

• Best Gif Evar. It really captures my usual mood towards bullshit.

• (last one) I can't do any Katas in karate anymore without making a "pew!" noise. It's kind of bad. Every so often I change it up and add a weird "Bam!" or "schawing!" but mostly it's just the "pew!"s. It's gotten so bad that if I stop making the noises, I don't remember the next move of the kata. Woe is me!

Current Music: California on My Mind — Wild Light
Give me a lake that I can dive into!
Burry my head at the bottom!
Fuck today! Fuck San Francisco!
Fuck California...

Whatever tomorrow brings...

2009-09-04T21:29:00.000-07:00

I really wish that my karate school had classes on Friday nights. I would so go to that class. I would hit that class. I would hit it so hard that the person pulled me out would be the next king of England.

So, what has been on my mind recently is writing. I haven't been doing a lot of it, but I've got a brainload of stories that I think would be cool. I'm going to lay the biggie here. I've been seriously wanting to do a series of "future" novels, that are all connected, but are talking about different points in the history... of the future. I kind of want to twist each of the events and sort of make it parallel (or at least reminiscent) to our past... though, I might drop that part. I'm thinking it's going to start out sort of normal, and then sort of escalate into extreme science-fictiony weirdness (but weird in a way where we think it's weird, but the characters are, to a certain extent, just chill with it). I wish I was a person who smoked weed, because then I could justify the weirdness of all of this.

This is all © me (Betsy Weidner). No exceptions.

[Book 1] (this is actually the most recent of things I've been thinking of, which is weird since it's the first chronologically). So it starts off like 10 years from now, and basically things have gotten a little crazy politically in the US, and there's been a lot of terrorist attacks from Conservative groups against Liberal places and Liberal groups against conservative places and it's just escalating to a point of sheer nonsense. I kind of want this story to have a Resistance Fighters versus Nazi Germany sort of feel, with a group of fighters doing their resistance ~~thang~~ thing. Starting off sort of with strange terrorist acts "for their cause," and then some of them getting taken prisoner (and following them as they get tortured, and meet their enemies {and obviously fall in love, duh... not really, well maybe. whatever} and then escape and go up to Canada {on foot}, and then take a boat and do the political thing with the British and get the Second Civil War to start, with the aid of the Brits), while the others set up a base hidden in the forest (because I like tree-houses, no other reason), and then realize that the Civil War has started, and that they are on the wrong side of the 'enemy lines.'

As the war is starting, scientists are developing three things, one of them is a sort of nano-technology plague, and the other are these huge floating land masses (sky-islands. It's been done before, but that doesn't mean it's not cool anymore). [book 2] The third is a DNA replacement temporary experiment thing (which I should probably do some research on if I want to write it convincingly and not call it 'thing') that the Government was working on to change aspects of people by using the DNA of animals. (this idea manifested itself in the middle of 8th grade, and evolved into something workable freshman year of college) Of these projects, the biggest one is the 'Centaur Project' which made this huge public announcement about the safety of their test,. They chose five teenage, high-school students to be both frontmen (and women), as well as test subjects of the project. However, they're in the week-long incubator when the aforementioned nano-plague is taken by terrorists and goes off in the city where the five teens are doing their test. Everybody dies, and the Government in a last-ditch operation covers the city (San Francisco? oh yeah, I'm plaguing San Francisco) in a giant dome to keep the plague in. Because of the war it stays there for a hundred (or so) years, and finally, some bandits go into the city to loot and find the five teens whose DNA replacement thingies haven't stopped in all that time and has left them all in various states of physical and mental deform. The bandits are part of a(nother) resistance group, and the five teens get caught up in all that, as well as their own weirdness by being over a hundred (or so) years old, and having weird (not romanticized) body and brain parts that were not there when they went to sleep in their little incubators.

Now the thing the bandit-resistance group is fighting for is probably something to do with the difference in social status as created by the Land-masses of floaty-island awsomeness, where the people left below are not nearly as cool as the people on the floaty islands of awesome. (There is also going to be a weird influx of flying machines, and with cool flying machines comes Air Pilots and Air Pirates [book 3], no exceptions). The Centaur people do their ~~thang~~ thing with the Bandit folk, and have a huge battle, and then either die or decide to part ways or live happily ever after (respectively, I mean. They don't all do all of that. That would be silly.), and just sort of fade into legend, only popping out every now and then until they die of actual old age.

[book 4] (this idea started in my sophomore year of high school, hot shit) The bandit-folk and their resistance have another bout of technological plague-y goodness, and do a weird thing. They thought they were just going to do something to screw up the atmosphere of the upper place (where the islands are), but basically fucked with the entire genetic makeup of everyone on the planet resulting in mass infertility. Sperm still works, but only when coupled with eggs from the weird small group of the people who are genetically different and that the infertility thing did not work on. Like, maybe a tenth of a percent of the population just don't react the same way. The girls who react differently become super fertile (having like quintuplets as a minimum amount of child-folk, and basically dying if not taken super good care of, because of the strain on their bodies from the double-dose of pregnancy). While the guys who react differently are born with (zomg, I get squeemish just writing this, so I'm going to be really sarcastic and weird), a super-duper man-womb, complete with eggs! *thumbs up* They're not like hermaphrodites or anything. They basically become a third gender, that is completely artificial thanks to the nano-thing of no mo' babies! (I'm getting tired, shutup). They're entirely like guys (straight too, they are just like guys, so some of them might be gay, but most of them aren't and have to deal with having a thing where sperm needs to go inside of them), except that they can become pregnant and have children (though not nearly so many as girls can). So there's this whole generation of fucked up kids who are basically the only thing saving the population of their species (because babies born from them are normal again... maybe? haven't decided yet). And all these kids are sequestered off into an even more special floating island where they're cut off, and basically raised knowing they're different and knowing that they're going to be used a bunch of times to make babies instead of live a normal life.

So naturally, a few of them get kidnapped by the forgotten people who don't live on the islands, and have weird adventures there both trying to escape, and understanding the basic concepts of sexual relationships (in both a "we need babies" sense, since the people down below don't have the technology anymore to do artificial insemination {though I might just make it so it has to be a sexual coupling, because the artificial stuff does not hold as well... I'm not sure, but man-sex is going to happen one way or the other}, as well as a "I love you" sense).

As the babies are born, a tentative peace settles about the planet, and it is at this crossroads before everything starts building up again (and build up it shall), WHEN THE ALIENS COME!!! FUCK YES! [book 5] (I started thinking this one up during my stay in Ashland, mostly because we were watching a shit load of X-Men Evolutions and I fell in love with Kurt, a.k.a. Night Crawler). The Aliens are tall, muscular, blue and furry with sort of dog-like legs. And they decide to visit earth. There's a lot of political stuff going on because of the aliens, and then (hey! guess what!) terrorist action leaves a bad impression, and scares away the aliens who never come back again, and take only five or ten people with them. Then they fade into legend.

And there's going to be some stuff here, blah blah blah.

And then humans inhabit a bunch of man-made planets in their own wee man-made solar system, which orbits around our solar system (and our sun), and the remnants of earth (which is inhabited only by a few extremists and scientists — like only a hundred or so — who are trying to bring it back to a healthy state). [book the 6th, 7th or last... depending on whatever] is going to be the Gay Robot Story. I've mentioned this bad boy in the most vaguest of ways possible here, here and here but you don't have to look. I'm just making sure you knew that they existed before this huge post of death. I honestly thought I wrote a summary and posted it here on the sideworld, but I guess not. This is going to be a really mind-raping (along with some real raping too, I suppose) story of awesome. I am pretty sure this is going to be the only story where it's humans fighting non-humans, as opposed to humans fighting humans.

What is probably going to be in the book [so book the 6th I guess...] before the Gay Robot story, is going to be an inventor making robots, and the trials and adventures he has when he makes FiBots (who are going to start out looking like Roombas, and sort of evolve into floating balls of light). He basically invents/gives life to the first and only Robots who have souls. Of the all the books, I'm thinking that this might end up being the most philosophical, and least violent. I'm not quite sure what the philosophy is going to be. And I'm probably just posturing that it's going to be philosophical because it doesn't have much of a plot yet, but I think I'm the most interested in this one because I haven't given it much thought yet. It's still new. :D

And that's it. That's my take on the future. Not very detailed (yet), but that is my life-goal project. Holy fuck that was long.

Current Music: Drive — Incubus
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there...
Totally apropos for writing about a collection of stories based in the future. :P

"The time has come," the Walrus said...

2009-09-03T10:29:00.001-07:00

What a completely messed up Walrus...

It's getting to be that time again where I am slowly preparing for moving out of my lovely home and going to school. I've got three weeks, but I like being prepared. I've got shit to buy and stuff to do (and write), and it all just seems so very silly. I'm not sure I'm a fan at all. It was just like this last year. While I am a little more excited than nervous compared to last year (because this year I've got the sincere pleasure of rooming with my awesome roomies from last year), I'm still not convinced I'm entirely looking forward to this year. I was unbearably bored last year, and I don't think I'm going to get over that any time soon. I'm (hopefully) taking extra classes this year (and none of this pass/no pass crap, I'm done with that), and that should keep me occupied, but not really interested. The lack of motivation on my part is aggravating to say the least. And I don't get to do karate down there... :/

If I could have it my way, I would go to the school administration, and ask for about two hundred students to work with me for a year to make a movie (probably of my epic screenplay/musical extravaganza). And then we will win Oscars and then people will just be offering me jobs, and I won't have to go to school anymore. But that's only if I had it my way...

Moving on, I just got a new addition to my technological family.

And his name is Captain Awesomepants. No joke.

• In light of of this significant (and free) buy (since my mom needed a new laptop, we got the student special), has anyone else heard of Free Texting for iPhone and iPod Touch? It seems a little too good to be true (but supported with advertisements, so entirely possible). If I could have free texting (even through wifi with Captain Awesomepants), I would be oh so pleased with myself. I kind of loathe phone conversations, and I don't have free texting on my phone (does that stop me? Hell no!). I'm intrigued by this application for Captain Awesomepants. Intrigued indeed.

• Finally, I downloaded a shitload of Awesome PS Brushes, and I'm so excited to start using them. Star Trek and DaVinci, ftw.

• Also finally (this random info-dump may never end!), I have an excuse to buy more red shirts. Even though redshirts tend to die on Star Trek, I feel that this would be an okay thing for me to do. Thanks New Scientist. :)

• Also, also, finally, finally (this is the last bit, I swear), I' been trying to get rid of my farmer's tan by not tanning, and using sunscreen on my forearms (and face). But now, my face is super pale, and my arms haven't really changed. I'm bumping up 30SPF to something higher. This is ridiculous.

Current Music: Welcome to Paradise — Greenday
Pay attention to the cracked streets and the broken homes.
Some call it slums, some call it nice!
I wanna take you through a wasteland I like to call my home;
Welcome to paradise!

Hell yeah, I'm the motherf*cking princess!

2009-08-29T14:46:00.001-07:00

Ha ha. Title, ha. *snorts*

Today is a good day to hug. Thanks to my insanely interesting body chemistry, my hormones have gone from nose diving into the black abyss to a grand, and sweeping upswing into the celestial heavens. For those of you who don't speak "Betsy" (I don't speak pathetic bastard, come again?!), it means I'm in a good mood. An incredibly good mood. I got through an entire days worth of shopping (of the grocery variety) with my mother, which is usually quite taxing, but today was rad, and I still feel awesome. I made myself some Ice-Coffee today, and the sun is shining radiantly, and I got to wear my cut-off jeans and I found the sunscreen that is "non-greasy" (thank god), and I bought a wee, 4-cup coffee maker for my apartment next year (which is adorable, and I will name Señor Coffee... since it's a Mr. Coffee), and an itty bitty wee flashlight (which is even more adorable), and life is just good.

It's so good, I decided to have a totally bad, run-on/comma-splice sentence there. You know when something's good if it's THAT good. I try my darndest to not screw with the English Language when I'm writing a post, but some things are more important that grammar (this is obviously Operation Valkyrie status), and that includes blog posts about ridiculously good days.

This Happy-Feeling? By definition: awesome. :D

Why yes. This is relevant to this post.

Current Music: Mr. Spock — Nerf Herder
You don't want a boyfriend,
What you want is Mr. Spock
To come to your wasteland
And destroy the ro-o-o-bots!
Something more than human!
Someone with blood that's gold and green!
You want something better than me.

Tuck me sweet and dance me slow...

2009-08-26T10:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday

Chris Pine!

Thus marks the first time in my blogging life where I have celebrated the birthday of a celebrity. Go me? Probably not. This sort of action screams of lack of sanity, but god-damn does it feel good to have a reason to use sparkly text (if you're reading this from facebook, go to my blog to get the full impact of this). Sparkly text is amazing, no matter what the circumstances. Your favorite relative just had a scuba diving accident and died from the bends? Sparkly text. Your car was stolen? Sparkly text. Your BFF just admitted to having a crush on you and now things are awkward? Sparkly text, ftw.

It never can go wrong. Never. I'm planning on having all my funeral announcements have Sparkly text. Why? a) because I can, b) because it's amazing. And everyone will see it and be able to celebrate the life I lived, rather than mourn my passing, and I would like that quite muchly. And here's another picture because he only turns 29 once (which means he's only 10 years older than me. I can work with that!).

Current Music: Starting to Show — Jill Barber
From the top of my head to my tippy toes.
I'm in love and it's starting to show...

Lymph, (v).: to walk with a lisp.

2009-08-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure I want to be an English Major anymore. I want to Major in Surfing and Boys, but that's probably not going to happen...

Granted, I'm actually a Literature Major (with an emphasis on Creative Writing, if you want to be specific), but the idea of studying books and poems like that (Literature Major-wise, not Creative Writing-wise), has always bugged me. Memorizing different literary devices, and rhyme schemes has never once seemed as important to me as actually reading what I am reading. Now I'm an expert at bull-shitting my way through essays, and skimming books and stories and poems. It's gotten to a point where I have trouble reading for pleasure, because I'm not sure what I am going to glean from anything that passes my way. Actually, I can't read for pleasure anymore, just because I'm so used to trying to read to answer a question that without some thing to look for, I can't focus.

Once again the education system has left me completely messed up. Thank you.

(And I'm not happy with the way facebook reorients my blog posts. I put them a certain way for a reason. Argh...)

And Summer's drawing to an end... most depressing.

Current Music: None

And all I ask is a tall ship...

2009-08-22T13:34:00.000-07:00

It is time for an update on THINGS OF NOTE! My life has been crazy (not really), and you guys have to know (again, not really)!

~~I wrote fanfiction and posted it to a livejournal. I feel so bizarre about this, you have no idea.~~

Cookie Monster.

Here

Current Music: Even If It Kills Me — Jason Mraz
And all I want to do is to love you.
I can't much closer than 'friends' you...

I dare you to do better...

2009-08-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

I'm not being stimulated ~~sexually~~ mentally ~~at all~~ anymore. Which is weird, because I'm in college, right? I should be learning, but instead I find myself plodding on through the same plebeian, high school-like memorizing. Last time I had a group discussion about something was at my grammar school. My grammar school was more able to bring intelligence out of pubescent teenage girls than my high school was and my college is. Needless to say, I'm bored. My age group is becoming increasingly dull to socialize and hang out with. All we do is talk about other people in our age group. While it's nice to stay in touch and know what's going on with my peers, there is a growing part of me that really does not care.

I don't care who is dating who, and who is mad at who, and who has been ignoring who. I sincerely don't give a fuck. I'm glad that we are human enough to interact in these base and socially acceptable ways, but none of my friends and peers are putting themselves in a position to pull themselves out of that rut. We are all homo sapians, yes, but I believe that we all have a need to create, and make and learn and grow, and frankly, no one I know is pursuing that, or if they are, they are not advertising it.

I mean, in my spare time I find myself writing several different stories, trying to draw with some semblance of talent, practicing french, re-teaching myself how to play the flute and am currently engrossed in my epic musical. While physically I'm pretty bad off (Freshman 15, I will end you!), but mentally, I'm always trying to at least, some way, better myself. I mean. I took French for eight years. Then Italian (which is messing with me so hard, just because I keep seeing words and realizing they're in Italian and I know them, and then I flail and hit some stranger who is walking by me), and I'm about to start Latin and fucking Hebrew. And I feel like a little kid just realizing not every family was like his family when I say "I thought I was normal." Am I complaining?

(Maybe the language thing is me compensating for the fact that I'm not sure how to communicate with most English speakers (a majority who are base and illiterate, unfortunately... I secretly strive to fix that), so I make up for it by being base and practically illiterate in other languages).

I suppose I could just ask my father to inform me of something, as he is disgustingly knowledgeable. Or, better yet, go back to reading some of the classics.

Hello Watson, hello Holmes. It's been a while, boys.

And, I almost forgot! An OH WOWEE!!! MOMENT IN MY LIFE!

Happy 1000th post

Sideworld!

Current Music: Congratulations — Blue October (feat. Imogen Heap)
My mind it kind of goes fast
I'll try to slow it down for you

Music is what feelings sound like.

2009-08-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

Well, so much for posting more often. I'm lame, but I'm comfortable in my lameness.

So... I've got a guilty secret. I've been downloading Star Trek fanmixes. Like, seriously downloading them, and enjoying them. Not only am I getting exposed to music I never would have listened to in a million years (and liking it), but I'm sincerely enjoying really cool "cover art" being in my iTunes playlist. There is a good chunk of talent out there, friends. Both with regards to the world of photoshop as well as the world of musical taste (that doesn't really count as talent though, does it?). Anyway, here's a few of my favorites (be advised, some of them are "pairing-oriented" but I kind of just like them for the music).

I'll Be Your Pressure Suit

In the Deep

On a Burning Bridge

I Swear to God that Worlds Collided

This Is My Home

Also, that being said I made my own fanmixes to share to the world too (1 and 2). I'm very proud of them. My mind is a silly place.

But then again, music is a very silly thing...

Also, I'm being a fail-friend to everyone, I know. And my phone is being stupid. Just feel free to hate me. It's totally justified.

Current Music: Brothers on a Hotel Bed — Death Cab for Cutie
And I have learned
That even landlocked lovers
Yearn for the sea like navy men...

Now you're out there, swimming in the deep...

2009-08-03T10:02:00.001-07:00

Holy god, I'm like a 40 year old sometimes. Holy of holies. I mean, I seriously feel like I'm a middle-aged person trapped in a young person's body. I'm going through a mid-life crises because of it. My mind is saying "go out and buy a car!" and I don't even know how to drive yet! This is not good, I tell you; not good at all. (In place of a car, I'm thinking of getting Burberry Lace-Print Rainboots, because there is honestly nothing better than retail therapy; don't worry. I'm not going to, but they are nice to look at).

So I'm turning 20 in October (and I feel like a bitch for saying that I feel old, because there are so many more people in the world that deserve to say that, and are justified where I am not. I just kind of had a revelation about it the other day, and it is weighing on my mind heavily. As such, I've spent a good deal of time comparing myself to Mozart, and pointing out my inadequacies therein. I have not written anything at all brilliant (though I am trying, which is more than can be said for the majority of people my age), and I have done very little in terms of becoming absolutely fabulous and famous by doing something unprecedented and brilliant (though, again, I am trying). To say the least, I'm certainly feeling a bit woeful... and old. Of my high school friends, I am one of the older, and even of my college friends, I am certainly up there in age... I might be the oldest, but I don't want to go and look... mildly depressing. And I'm a sophomore... in college! This is just so weird. Everybody talks about high school, probably because it is so much easier to describe because they're all the same, but college? College is strange. And indescribable, especially for a person like me that does not imbibe in the drinking and the drugging and the whoring. People say that that's living though. It isn't how I want to live, but I still have that strange, nagging feeling that I'm supposed to be doing that. I know I'm not, but the feeling is there all the same. How dreadful peer pressure is. *rolls eyes* *goes back to work on epic novel, then epic screenplay* Sigh...

But all is alright, I got the boyfriend sweater in a lovely brown color, by stealing Merman's 30% off discount, in a spontaneous buy yesterday. Like I said above, there is nothing better than retail therapy; it cures all ills. I wasn't even thinking of going to the mall, and then there the sweater was. It is lovely, and has just a wee bit of cashmere in it, enough so to make me squee a bit whenever I move my arms in its lovely, lovely sleeves. It is just lovely.

I've also been indulging in a boatload of "fanmixes" which are really fun, and such a rad way to expose myself to new music. It's very bizarre. I may link to a few of my favorites next post. Music themed post... hmmm.

Also, also. I'm going ice skating with my friends today. Leave it to me and my posse to go ice skating in August.

Current Music: In the Deep — Bird York
Thought you had all the answers
to rest your heart upon.
But something happens,
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
Now you're out there swimming...
In the deep. In the deep...

Remember the name...

2009-07-23T12:37:00.000-07:00

New layout... awww yeah (Facebook readers, click here!). That didn't take as long as I thought it would — though it did take a damn long time. What with the twitter coding being a bitch in the pants. But yeah, I thought it would take a lot longer, and ultimately be a better way of passing the time. Really, it was only about 3 hours worth of work (spread out through about 18-24 hours because I take many breaks, and am distracted by shiny internets).

Shit. I am so bored. I am so very, very bored. Right now I'm in a position where I cannot stand to be here anymore. I'm so stuck to this house, and to this situation that I cannot even begin to make a significant sentence about, explaining why things are so bad. Nothing's bad, and that kind of is translating into every thing's bad. I would be a runaway, if I wasn't so scared. That's what I really want to do, run away. Like for a weekend or something. My current plan of running away is to go down to LA for a day and see Farragut North, and then fly home the next day. It's closing weekend, this is my last chance to do it.

That's what I always do. Find out the last chance, and then when I don't do it, I feel the most extreme pangs of regret, and then I say to myself "Well, it was a long shot to begin with..." and justify not doing it in the first place. That's my life. I don't want that to be my life, but it is. It's the way I've been living since I can remember. No risks, no chances. I just need to chance, but I'm too damn scared. It's probably the most frustrating thing ever. In my heart, I'm an adventurer. I'm meant for great things. Obesity, and lack of self-confidence have made it hard to fulfill that destiny.

It's like I'll never get out of this rut. My mom comes home from knee surgery, and the first thing she does is have me make her some food. I'm suck here. I'm either expected to clean up after the guys in my house, or make them dinner. It's chauvinistic... I need to get away. Fuck this shit.

Psh... I also find it ironic that Cinderella was always my favorite fairy tale.

Current Music: Remember the Name — Fort Minor
This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

Earth below us, drifting falling...

2009-07-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to get back into writing. It's a pseudo-failed attempt. I spent all of Winter quarter busting out some really good shit, and now I've got nothing. I'm out of ideas. First person, third person, sci-fi, fantasy, memoir (well, sort of), what have you. I can't get a coherent thought out of my brain. It's annoying. That, and the fact that my conversations with my peers are littered with swears, so I've forgotten how to use the actual english vocabulary my parents paid for with blood. It's enough to drive me to true insanity. So, I'm going crazy. And I can't even write about it. Because hot damn, this would make a good story.

So, instead of writing, I've been looking at inspiration for writing. I ultimately equate "inspiration" with digging through the archives of various blogs and whatnot (I really should change that perspective, and make inspiration a "going outside" sort of deal, but I digress). Of these blogs (including The Manolo Shoeblogs any of the livejournal communities I watch, and some random stuff which encompasses things of every nature including my father's political blog), I've been rather enamored with Soul Pancake. It feels trendy and pretty liberal, but at the same time, it covers a lot of fundamental questions and ideas that religion and schooling don't get around to. It's got some pretty cool articles too, which (as is their purpose) get you thinking. 1, 2, 3, and 4 are currently my favorites after jumping about 4-9 pages back into the archives.

That being said, while I was looking for inspiration, I got inspired instead to do something else. I'mma-gunna revamp the old blog (obviously going to be Star Trek themed!). I'm doing this instead of writing, only to postpone the inevitable, and because it is very much needed. I need to have some sort of writing to turn in for Intermediate Creative Writing (I went through this at the beginning of last quarter). It's kind of sucky, I'm not going to lie. What better way to get this writing done than to completely avoid it? :D

Also, some shameless self promotion! I made my first ever FANMIX! I'm super proud of it, and people have said nice things about it in the comments. It's on livejournal, because that is so much more apropos for fanmixing. And it's got the whole "cut text" thing which is non-existent in blogger. Anyway, fanmix for Star Trek, with songs for all the characters of the ship, as well as Planet Vulcan, Nero and the crew of the Narada, and the Enterprise. It's quite encompassing. :D

Current Music: Major Tom (Coming Home) — Shiny Toy Guns
4, 3, 2, 1,
Earth below us,
Drifting, falling, floating weightless,
Calling, calling home...

A pair of shoes can change your life, just ask Dorothy!

2009-07-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

Ding! Dong! The Crocs are Dead!
Here

In celebration, I propose a shoefest! I am, as we speak (as you read? or as I write?) popping the champagne (not really, but I am drinking bubbly water), eating party nuts (again, not really, actually I am eating nuts, but they're just normal), and browsing through my favorites on Zappos (yes, really). And while I, along with the Manolo, feel horrible about the people at Crocs who are losing their jobs, some nice folk in the real shoe business are going to look at them and say "Wow, they lasted as long as they did, that's got to take some talent, let's do a pity-hire! :D" Because that is exactly what shoe and other clothing manufacturers sound like.

For those of you not aware of my history with the fashion world (which is limited at best), I spent most of my formative high school years (that seems an oxymoron somehow...) looking at, and linking to, and analyzing violently various prom dresses. Now that I'm an adult (if by adult, you mean over prom-age! which I do). I would have a list of numbers, since it looked classy at the time, that linked to various dresses, and I would ~~talk~~ write about the dresses. I'm going to be doing that again, but only this time, with a more timeless clothing necessity; shoes. I was hoping this would be a lot shorter than it ended up being, but that is how the cookie of life crumbles. If I do this again, I will stick to a theme like "blue!" or "pumps!" and it will be glorious. Until that happens, however, I give you the random, and the first of the shoefests of awesome!

Now, it is time for a shoefest! (all ratings are out of 5... I guess)

1. Me Too, Frost. This shoe amuses me for some strange reason. It gives me the same sort of tingly, happy feeling I get when hot, skinny girls wear altered mens clothing, (I will point you into the direction of Saved! and Eva Amurri's character, Cassandra's prom outfit... that's the best picture I could find, unfortunately). But these shoes came off as masculine, and then I looked again (literally did a double take... not easy when you have a cup of coffee, and are a spazz), and saw adorkable, femaleness. They're clunky and weird, but I'm sincerely liking it. That, and the frosty look rather than just straight up black or brown really accents the strangeness. These get a 4 and a smily face. :)

2. Marc by Marc Jacobs, 693331 I find these to be God telling me that a) he/she exists, and b) that life is too short to care. I could go on about religion and politics, but who wants that? That being said, these shoes were a religious experience for me. The wee kitten heel, and daring turquoise blue, by themselves, I feel would not have worked. But the star? I now know that God is watching out for me, and he demands that we have a good, fun time while we're here. Minus points for the lack of original name (Marc, get with the program, these are obviously dying to be named "GOD'SHERESHOES!!!"), but final rating is a star! Hooray. ☆

3. DSQUARED2, G007. Oh noes. My brain just died from the fug. Every so often I go and look up shoes in the $200.00 and over category to appease my inner spoiled rich girl, and most of the shoes are rad, and some of them should probably just go DIAF. This shoe goes to the latter category. These shoes are $589. Oh no, oh no! You, G007, are awarded a 0 out of 5. I want you to go to your room and think about what you've done! Zero! out of five!

4. Clarks, Indigo I might actually buy these as sandals for myself, if only because they seem the sort of thing that would be apropos in Santa Cruz, and I need fabulous sandals. Actually, the only thing I really wanted to point out, was that in the reviews people say they make a farty noise, and that tickles me somewhat. *is tickled* I rate this a Gold and Leather Tickle out of five.

5. (ooh, picture from a different angle, I think this shows off what it's about a little more). Steve Madden, Clustter. They spelled 'cluster' wrong. These come in three different color sets, white (shown), green and red. I really like the idea of these shoes. However, the flowers are a little too 'chunky.' I'm not sure if that's the word I want to use, but it applies. If I'm going to be buying a shoe with flowers, I want them dainty. Wisp-like, if you will. These seem a little too solid. Which is dumb because real flowers are solid, but my word is law. I give these a three... and a flower. ❀

6. Marc by Marc Jacobs, Lauro Lh Fab Ballet. I think Marc Jacobs was better at sticking to numbers, rather than names. But these are Fab, there's no question about that. I have but one complaint, and that is that you cannot actually really read what it says. I've gotten "love" and "marc" and I'm not sure I want a shoe that says "love" "marc" even though I am a fan of Marc Jacobs. It seems somewhat pretentious. But I am a creature of extraordinary patience. I could probably deal with it, because the shoes are quite cute. I give you a three and a half. Because that is how the world turns. *nods sagely*

7. Madden Girl, Kileyy. Shoemakers obviously need to work on spelling. So wow, okay. I'm not sure where this is coming from, but these shoes are kind of making me putty in their non-existent hands. It's earth-tones mixed with flower-tones and that is a rare combination. No I'm lying, that's common, but it can easily be completely messed up (and again for good measure). (Okay, so I was all "I need an example, so I googled "brown, red, gross" and was fairly traumatized by the number of post surgery pictures, and there were livers and bulbous things I could not identify and I feel horridly dirty). Anyway. These shoes work, for reasons unknown. And I appreciate the price too. 3.5 out of five. :)

9. Sigerson Morrison, Sm9312 $464.40. Yes. Want. Where is my wallet? Five out of five, and a heart, ♥.

And that's the Fest. Cheers, and a quote.
“About half my designs are controlled fantasy, 15 percent are total madness, and the rest are bread-and-butter designs.”
-Manolo Blahnik

Current Music: Sarah — Ray LaMontagne
When we first met we were kids, we were wild, we were insects.
And after a while, I grew coarse, I grew cold, I grew reckless...

Of shoes and ships and ceiling wax, of cabbages and kings...

2009-07-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

Ho Goddam-uh. Some sweet shit has been going down, yo. I'll give you a list, whut.

1. First off, hi. I do not want you to think I've been neglecting my blog for selfish reasons, I've just been busy... resting. That's a horrid excuse, I'm sorry. The world kept spinning, and I huddled away in my home. Selfish of me. I make up for it by promising to update the blog more.

2. So, I now have a blip.fm which updates my twitter with music I like when I feel the urge to do so. My twitter is also now connected to my facebook (in theory), so when I tweet, my status will change (again, in theory. I'm afraid to test it — edit: I've tested it, it works, huzah!). I'm feeling so connected. Never has the urge to set up my own hermitage been so strong.

3. And I kind of want to get these shoes, then these shoes, and quite possibly these shoes. I will probably end up only getting the Converse, but I will dream nightly of the Betseyvilles, and coo over the Marc by Marc Jacobs. Seriously though! Couldn't you see me with a (black with pink pinstripes, would that someone made that) pencil skirt, a (pink!) ruffly blouse and the Betseyvilles? (Also, I would get these ridiculously expensive Rain Boots of Awesome if I had the money.

4. Betsey Johnson brand is becoming one of my favorite brands ever. Save for the fact that they spell my name wrong.

5. I'm kind of over guys. No! Not like that! Zomg! But I'm in no position to have a summer fling, and all of my guy friends are currently just guy friends, and I'm not in a pursuing mood. It's been interesting, to say the least. The Menfolk are still hot as hell, and I've had my eye on Chris Pine (though his website is literally all about the clothes he wears), and Christopher Egan. The fact that they're both named "Christopher" is interesting to me in a way that is not. But I know no Christophers in real life (but I do know one 'Christian' who I call Spankie), so when it comes to guys, this is as interested as I can get right now. I'm sure this is just a funk that'll pass, but boys are just not cutting it with me right now. Maybe because boys around my age bracket are still 'boys,' and therefore not acting very much like interesting people yet. Man up, you punks!

6. I've been toying with the idea of having a "stage name." Why, you ask? Obviously for when I become extremely famous. Duh. But I'm pretty sure I want to keep my first name (either Betsy or Elizabeth), but change my last name. So far, for last names I've got Carlyle (though the Twilight overtones make this a bust), Mandalay, O'Dell, Maddox, Quinn, Tesreau, Avery, Trentham, Darcy (haha! Right! :P), Abernathy, and Oriard. Because I'm conceited, I've done very little to explore what these names actually mean, but rather just how they sound with my name in front of them. It sucks because some of them sound good with Betsy, and some with Elizabeth, but few of them with both. I obviously have too much time on my hands.

7. I have to wait to see Harry Potter! I'm dying with anticipation! Simply dying!!

8. It has been decreed that I learn how to ballroom dance. I'm pretty sure they offer classes at UCSC for free, but that's awfully intimidating. I did the Midweeklies (which, if you grew up in the Yay, you might have heard of... maybe) in 7th?(?) grade and learned a little bit of ballroom dancing, and was subsequently forced to fraternize with 7th grade boys. But I want to learn real ballroom dancing. Especially if I become superfamouso (see above), I will have that skill to fall back on. And I'm white. I'm supposed to know how to ballroom dance apparently. :/

That's all, really. (9). Within the next couple of months, I'm going to be (hopefully) achieving a driver's license! Wish me luck!

10. Dr. Horrible nominated for an Emmy on their one year birthday! YUS!!!!

Current Music: When I Grow Up — Mayday Parade cover
When I grow up
I wanna be famous!
I wanna be a star!
I wanna be in movies!

It's a revolution! We're going to have to offend someone!

2009-07-04T09:39:00.000-07:00

So the Fourth of July has always "got me." In a weird way. Tonight I'm hanging out at home with my folks eating a traditional July Fourth dinner, consisting of Fried Chicken, Corn on the Cob and Watermelon. There is a possibility of climbing to the roof and watching the fog around our house become colored with fireworks.

This afternoon, however, I'm going to be hanging out in Japantown with some of my high school friends. Before that, I'm planning on possibly playing some DDR, messing around on the internet (including publishing this post), playing with my poodle, and studying French a wee bit, to keep on top of the language game.

I do love America... it's such a bizarre place to live in.

I think if I ever became famous in the film industry, I would start a crusade redoing all the old musicals. I say this only because I'm considering watching 1776 (which I love! btw!) in honor of the day today. But 1776, The Music Man, Sound of Music and West Side Story are on my list of things that need to be fixed! I'm excited, I cannot lie! This could also be stemming from the fact that sometimes, during my free time I work on a screenplay for a musical with some of my favorite songs as the lyrics. It's been an interesting feat. I may actually try to go through with it... it's also fault of the "Pages" program that comes with iWork. It's got a "screenplay" setting, and is encouraging me far too much...

I used to be able to write coherent thoughts... I wonder what happened.

And all I really want to do is see Star Trek again...

Current Music: But Mr. Adams — 1776
Mr. Adams, but, Mr. Adams
The things I write are only light extemporania
I won't put politics on paper; it's a mania
So I refuse to use the pen in Pennsylvania.

One song about a girl...

2009-06-10T21:10:00.001-07:00

World's most random update? Quite possibly. Here is a list of some things that have been going down in my brain.

So you know the phrase "Where the sun don't shine."? So I was thinking about it, and I was wondering what it would be like to be in the place where the sun don't shine... There is something in where the sun don't shine, so do you think that something is kind of freaking out?
"Oh my god! There's no sun here! What's going on?! It's not like I'm indoors and the sun is outdoors, there's just no sun, oh my god!"
Well, that was immature...
I love how if you search the word "believing," the song Don't Stop Believing by Journey is the first thing to show up on my google. Is it like that with you? It's such a dumb song, and yet I love it. I was watching "Glee" which put its first episode up on Hulu, and the finale has them all singing it. I think their version better. It just makes me smile. :)
Michael Jackson's death did not move me to tears or despair like it did some of my other friends. I've been invited to join three "rest in peace, MJ" (or some derivative thereof) groups on facebook, and declined all of them. In terms of celebrity deaths, the only one I'm mourning still is Heath Ledger.
Ashland, Oregon is still there, and fabulous as ever. I would never move there in a thousand years, but it's definitely a cool place to chill. Saw a shitload of plays and movies, and bought a skirt (*gasp!* no one thought it was possible!). All in all, a most amiable experience. One that bares repeating, but also one that isn't immediately after I get out of school. I was home for a good hour, before I was shuttled off to Oregon. Adrenaline pumping? Indeed...
"About a Girl" is still my favorite song after a good two and a half months of solid listening time. I've gotten up to 180 listens, on my iTunes alone. No telling how many times I've listened to it on my iPod.
I want to see Star Trek again... what is this? Three times already? Lordy lou...
I kind of wish I had hugged more people goodbye when I left college. There's a few I know I missed, and that makes me sad. Because hugging is kind of amazing, and I sincerely feel the urge to do more of it. Like all the time... I'm a very touchy person.
Writing has suddenly become a bust. I guess I'm taking a break, so to speak. It's a little annoying. I've got all these ideas in my head, and I really cannot articulate them yet. I'll be totally able to once school starts up again. That'll be my luck. I've got a few ideas bouncing around, but nothing solid, ad that irks me somewhat. I'm officially irked...

That's it. I've updated.

Current Music: About a Girl — The Academy Is...
I'm not in love!
This is not my heart!

You're like my favorite damned disease.

2009-05-29T13:29:00.000-07:00

Hugging is the new 'hello'. Damn straight.

Hokay, small post because my brain is farty.

Yesterday sucked. My photo teacher told me that the 150+ pictures I took were pretty much shit, and now I get to spend the weekend retaking all of them. Yay me. I can't just "show" feet (which is my topic), I have to "express" them. It's total bullshit, and I have very little idea of what I'm going to do, and I think it might be due Monday... Fun times here.

Today was actually alright though. I think I did well on my Italian test, and then I saw this on the internet, and I feel so special. That's me!! And I probably not going to be telling the man-candy of my desiring anytime soon, but it still makes me happy! I might just buy those shoes for the hell of it! :D

That's been what's been going down. It's another Lonely Friday Night here (though technically it is Saturday morning). Rock on, rock on.

Current Music: About a Girl — The Academy Is...
I'm not in love! This is not my heart!

And so it goes...

2009-05-14T19:19:00.000-07:00

I think there is something inherently wrong with an education system that brainwashes its students into thinking that, without it, said students cannot function properly. It's a strange mindset to actually have, and as of late, I'm thinking a pointless one. I'm probably not the first to say it, but there is very little actual point to college, especially with the emphasis on getting a "complete" education, which ultimately is trying to produce cute, little Renaissance Men, on an assembly line. Learning is ultimately a choice, and now that we're in this society that says that we must learn, the choice is lost. And I, along with many of my peers, lose the desire to learn when we're forced to do it. Being required to know how to do certain math problems and know certain dates diminishes the actual knowledge that went into finding out those equations and lessens the accomplishment of historical persons everywhere. (I've gone to great lengths many a year ago discussing the benefits of an "apprenticeship-based" education system, so I will not go into it again anytime soon).

Why do we need to know all of this stuff?

But more importantly, why does society tell us that without this "necessary" information we are doomed (yes, doomed) to go into manual labor careers, and that nothing really good will ever come of us? Colleges demand us to get a "college" education, but college educations are becoming less and less valuable as time goes on, and the students being produced by them are proving themselves to be less intelligent than the colleges they attended advertised that they would be.

This could be just me ranting randomly. Everybody's telling me that I need to go to college, and I feel more and more convinced that I'm definitely not accomplishing anything here. Running away to Paris is becoming more and more of an actual, viable option, rather than just a mind-fart of fancy. I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing. But I really want to just drop out and go. Write a novel or two, chill with Parisians, and go about my business sans école. If I'm suddenly gone, and know one knows why, that might be the reason.

Finally, Lonely Friday Nights! So, I'm super bummed because my Friday plans were shot to hell. Do you want to know what they were? I was going to sit in the laundry room and wait for my laundry to be done (including a little Pooh plushie that's on my key ring that needed washing). I was going to be watching and possibly filming my Pooh plushie as it passed the window of the dryer, while eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I'm bummed because there was someone in the laundry room who is going to be waiting for me to finish, so I can't just be sitting there with my pint and my self-pity.

Only good thing out of today? Spock poster.

Current Music: I Want You To Want Me — Letters to Cleo
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I'd love you to love me!

Space... the final frontier.

2009-05-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

Star Trek? Amazing. I'm probably going to see it a few more times before I am fully sated. It was that good. I just wish I had gone with the friendlies, rather than the fambam. I love my mother, and I love my brother, but the two of them together is a painful, painful combination. I was dying of their loud, pointless conversations, yes, but also of the way their conversations randomly turn. They never follow a set of ideas. They just jumble about... and then they make these horrible puns that are completely ridiculous and fairly embarrassing to say the least. Love them, but I think I OD'ed on them today... and an over-dose of anything is bad.

What? Sorry! Star Trek? STAR TREK!!! Epic, amazing, fun. Probably better than all the other Star Trek movies. The acting was superb, and the story-line wasn't filled with these heavy handed messages about tolerance. I'm worried about all the old Trekkies, but I think the majority of them are open to this new wave of Star Trek. And that is what it is, new. This is actually a really exciting time for the entire Star Trek fandom. As horribly clichéd as it sounds, with this movie, everything has changed. Not only is it delivering a different message, it's also delivering that message to a completely different audience. This is not my mother's Star Trek anymore; it's mine, it's ours.

That sounded dastardly optimistic. Ah well. That's what happens when you hang with the Betsy.

But I'll be damned if a TV show or another movie doesn't come of this. I'd pay anything to be on that show.

Still longing for Paris. I'll let you know when that desire lets up.

Current Music: None

I remember Paris...

2009-05-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

Can you believe that it's almost been a year since I graduated high school? Where the hell has the time gone? This quarter system, where everything goes super fast really does not appeal to me. Slow living is the only living. Except I want thing to speed up and get over and done with so I can get out of school for a little while. All of my friends are either done or about to finish with school, and here I am with another month left to go.

So, the only thing that is sitting heavily on my mind (aside from boys and boy related activities), is my final project for Photo Class. I don't know what it's going to be on, but I really, really, really want it to be on Feet. People feet, and animal feet alike, it's just really what's been baking in my mental oven, but when I threw the idea out at my TA yesterday there was kind of a negative reaction. It wasn't a "You can't do that," rather it was a "Real artists wouldn't do that." sort of vibe. But I'm totally intrigued with the idea now. I kind of want all of my photos to be vertical, and I want to even possibly explore the idea of writing on feet as well. I really wish I can get it approved, because the sooner I get it approved the sooner I can start working on it and make it amazing!

Because it's going to be amazing. I swear it!

Honestly, it'll have an almost "Postsecret" feel. I want to write things on people's feet, both negative and positive, well known and secret. And they'll probably be fake secrets too, which seem really meaningful, but aren't real. Because that's how I roll. I've been tossing around a few ideas like "I shave the three small hairs on my big toes, because girls aren't allowed to have hair." and "There's something very grounding about what's closest to the ground." And possibly "Jump!" and having a the next picture be of the feet in the air.

And I may also go around and ask the dance studios if I could take pictures of the dancers' feet, and possibly do other situations too. I'm so excited for this I just might faint. Literally faint! *faints* It's bad that this is what excites me the most.

Also, HUGE Jonesing for Paris. It's taking everything in my power not to just get up and leave and move there. I've been wanting nothing more than to drop out and live in Paris. The worst part was was that my mom said "Fine, do it." and I almost did, but got too scared. All I want to do is live there for a few years and write my book and NOT be a student. And I hate French people, but to possibly BE a pseudo-French person is kind of exciting. It's not a "need for Romance" thing (though it totally is), but rather a "need for Paris." It's like a fever, and the only cure is not more cowbell, but MORE PARIS. It's just this hovering feeling of "I remember Paris" and it won't leave me alone.

The truth is I never left you...

2009-05-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

I am so bored. Holy fuck. Here's some things, worthy of noting.

And I'm sick. It's common cold variety sickness. I've got a sore throat, and my roommate has an upset stomach. With our powers combined, We. Are. SWINEFLU!! But if I do get Swine Flu (funny shit, click it) I promise to blog from the hospital, no questions asked. That's quality news reporting right there. Solid commitment to the cause of journalism. Solid commitment!

Don't laugh, I'm a-fucking-dorable.

Not much has been going on. I flat-tired the hot guy in my photo class as he was getting off the bus, and he almost fell down the stairs and cracked his face open on the pavement. But that was like, two days ago. Very old news indeed.

Actually, the only thing I've been seriously working on (homework? what's homework?) is this screenplay of a musical comprised of a bunch of different songs in my music library. It's gotten to be really cool. It's about a girl in college whose best friend just committed suicide, and the main character doesn't know why, and along with suicide girl's twin brother is having trouble dealing. There's angst and whatnot and then there's this other character and his gay roommate, who are moderately interested in main character and twin brother respectively, and it's all angsty and whatnot and I am just loving it. How exciting? Very! And I've done things like added verses to songs, and gender-benders in terms of whose singing what, and changing some of the lyrics. There is this huge part of me that really just wants to have the main character sing "Don't Cry for Me UCSC!" No joke. It'll be amazing!

And the gay guy is going to sing "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet, while beating someone up. Genius? Yes.

I went to the gym. I've missed working out so much. Besides being sick, I feel awesome! Hot gym guys? Oh hell yes.

Current Music: The Safety Dance — Men Without Hats
We can dance if we want to!
We can leave your friends behind.
'Cause your friends don't dance
And if they don't dance,
Well they're no friends of mine!

I used to be real...

2009-04-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

Good lord, today was pretty shitty. I kind of wish I was a better student (just, you know, study-wise) so I wouldn't be in a constant state of stressing myself out. I didn't do much studying for my Photo Midterm, but I wasn't too worried because I thought "Well, I've been doing pretty well on the photo assignments, that'll hopefully pick it up." Yeah, I got a B- on my last assignment, and I've got a funny feeling I'll be getting around the same range for the next two. Go me...

It's actually kind of funny, but I was all "Oh, a good grade in Photo will bring up a bad grade in Italian." but I corrected my Italian test and I think I did kind of well, actually. So it's kind of reversed? I don't know. It's still not going to help that I got C's on my last two tests, having a B to B+ on this one. Again, Go me...

So today was kind of bad. Along with the Photo Midterm, the Photo Class Hottie, who I don't know if I'm attracted to anymore, was sitting next to a girl. A girl who was not me. Le sigh. And then I went back to the dorm, and tried to make myself some coffee and my cream was rotten! So I go to BJ's by the dining hall, and lo and behold, there is no cream! So I buy milk, and it make my coffee taste like poo. It was weird and watery, and the milk totally counteracted the coffee taste, and made it just cold and milk tasty. I didn't even put that much in.

So yeah, bad day. Sexual frustration, and bad coffee. I honestly don't think things could get worse.

Current Music: I Kissed a Boy — Cobra Starship
I kissed a boy, and they liked it
Got all the honeys in the club excited!

I'm gonna make it out alive...

2009-04-16T17:02:00.000-07:00

Wow. Long time no post... sorry for that. And the worst part is, I wish I could say that I was too busy to post, and while I was busy, I never got to the "too busy" point. It's been weird.

Not much has been going on. I didn't end up going to Chess club. I'm a little bummed at this, but I guess it happens. Maybe next week... I wish I had room/hall mates who could play against me. I don't like the idea of going to club any more. I'm too shy. But I make up for my shyness in social situations by expressing myself through photography (surprisingly enough...). My photo class has given me an excuse to go all out with regards to photographing. All the pictures I've been wanting to take but couldn't because of time issues, or lack of motivation are getting taken! It's been really exciting (not to sound like a complete nerd...).

I got some super good photos at church, which I'm really proud of, but I don't think my teacher liked them. Whatever... I'm doing my best and I like what I've been working on, so I'm happy (well, as happy as I can be anyway). Here are some of the photos...

There you have it. I think they look fabulous. Guess it kind of sucks to be me... I'm shrugging at it all. Shrug shrug.

Also, I've been a little overwhelmed at the amount of attractive guys who don't care about how I look. Walking around campus I just keep noticing them, and frankly, it's annoying. I want a hottie for myself, so I won't have to worry about all the others around school not noticing me. Along with the cafeteria sluts, there's a cutie in my Photo class who always sits alone, and who I kind of want to sit next to, but he looks so angry. I don't want him to kill me... :P

That's all...

Current Music: Snakes on a Plane (Bring it) — Cobra Starship
So kiss me goodbye!
Honey I'm going to make it out alive!
So kiss me goodbye!
I can see the venom in their eyes!

William Beckett Jr. is so hott... *dies*

Parlez-moi de Florence, et de la Renaissance...

2009-04-03T20:28:00.001-07:00

Dear Lord, I want this. A Star Trek Tridimensional Chess Set. I remember watching a rerun (or a video, whatever), of Spock playing this on the original show, and I kind of died a little inside, and I really want to start playing it now. Ahh... I'm a nerd.

Speaking of nerdiness, and chess, I'm pretty sure that on the 9th I'm going to go over to the Chess Club meeting and start playing again. I spent all of break playing against my mom, and that made me realize that I am not as mentally stimulated here as I should be — which goes to say that this "studying" thing is not stimulus enough, or stimulus worth my time. So that's going to be one of my "big" things this quarter, which will hopefully turn out well. I'm fairly excited for it, I can't lie.

And I'm also thinking of starting an improvisation group, à la Improv Everywhere only with more "scenes" and less stunt-ish things. I have flashes of dining hall sword fights and declarations of love and there are so totally going to be a few musical numbers. And I kind of want all the scenes to happen in the various dining halls around campus. Because those are the places that get the most traffic, since we don't have a sort of "quad" area where folks gather and whatnot. It's a little sad, actually. We've got no general area of gathering at our school. No center... maybe that's why things are so different here than other colleges. *ponders*

Anyway. Those are the updates. Chess Club, and possible Improv Group! Wish me luck!

Current Music: Florence — Notre Dame de Paris
A Florence on raconte que le terre serait ronde,
Et qu'il y aurait un autre continent en ce monde.
Des bateaux sont partis déjà sur l'océan
Pour y chercher la porte de la route des Indes

This ain't a fairy tale.

2009-04-02T19:26:00.001-07:00

Is it bad that I truly believe that magic is possible, and I could be a potential practitioner of it? Well, more like ESP. Sometimes I do something that's a little off, like being able to "call" games, or people who are either about to show up, or about to do something, and even elections (I got the last three presidential elections). But I'm also really good at Rock, Paper, Scissors... like really good. I don't know. I tend to be able to sort of guess/know how things are going to play out before they happen, but it's been a little more accurate as of late, or I'm just noticing it more. Either way, there's been a haze of uncertainty here at the SideWorld.

And I also worry that this is just me and that picking, gnawing feeling that is constantly in the back of my mind saying "You're destined for great things..." As random (though epic) as it sounds, I am almost positive that's my subconscious saying that there is a reason for my boredom. That instead of just sitting around and doing nothing, I am, in fact, waiting for something to happen to me. I'm just waiting for that person to come and find me and tell me that I am not meant to be here, and that I am needed somewhere else. Just waiting...

I feel unintelligent to say the least. There is no world waiting for me, and no one is going to whisk me away. But a girl can dream, can't she? There has to be something better than this. This ad-infested, base and simple and savage world that revolves around sexualizing and objectifying men and women, and which feasts on displays of over-dramatized stupidity. Rome is the mob, I guess. And it just gives me something to dream about, thinking that maybe there is something so much more out there, somewhere.

And I think this while mentally attacking Orcs when I'm bored, and trying to make things move with my mind.

In other news, my Photo class is really cool, and I'm seriously considering switching to an Art Major with an emphasis on Photography, or Digital Art. So I won't be a manager at Starbucks with a Lit Major, I'll be one with an even less useful Art Major. Look at me go. *rolls eyes*

Current Music: White Horse — Taylor Swift
I shoulda known, I shoulda known;
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale...

The Once and Future...

2009-03-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

Huzah. I spent all of Spring Break at home and, yet, I did not post on the blog! What is this madness?! So here comes a post of Things of Note! Another comprehensible and random as heck list from the very bowels of unnecessary ramblings! Brought to you by your very own Betsy!

1. On Monday I went back to Karate at the place I left. I hadn't been there in a year. I'm a little bummed, because I honestly thought it would have gotten better. It's pretty retarded to think that my leaving would have given Sifu a wake up call saying "Maybe this place really is a dump!" I mean, because all the other people who left before didn't change his mind. It was just a strange confirmation that I am probably never going to go back there unless there are some extreme changes. It was moderately depressing, to say the least. It sounds cheesy, but I really am having trouble putting words to the emotions. It's impossible to describe how I feel about that. It was three years of my life, all of which were rocky and kind of intense, in a way that Karate shouldn't be. And I've been gone for a year... maybe I just thought that I would have been able to mentally move on, but I guess not.

2. Tuesday I visited Mercy. There is another place where I spent a good amount of emotionally crippling time (both because it is high school, and also because I was dealing with all the crap from Karate and whatnot), and now I do not feel welcome anymore. While my old karate school has gotten steadily worse, and ultimately shittier, Mercy has not changed really. It's disgustingly static. But since no body I know well are there anymore (to be read 'my friends'), it's too different and bizarre. It's bordering on Twilight Zone-ey.

3. El Hermano and his Friend-Girl were here for the first few days of my vacation. They're completely nerdy and adorkable! It was weird though; I was totally comfortable making conversation with the Friend-Girl (who I had never met), and Robert (who is, admittedly, slightly awkward). Why is that weird? Because I still feel awkward and stupid around the people at UCSC. Awkward and stupid to the extreme, and that makes me realize that, while they are nice people, I'm not sure they are my people, in that they are not the kind of people who I work/feel best with. I don't know... whatever.

4. I'm back at school. Why is that?

5. I'm so tired of this quarter and it's barely even started.

6. My Intro to Photography teacher's name is Katie Perry. I'm still moderately impressed with that, I'm not going to lie. In class today she said "I am Katie Perry, the first." It was pretty amusing. This class is going to be pretty intense, but I'm kind of excited for it. I'm going back and forth between dropping it, because I think I might try to get into Intro to Film, but that might be my replacement if I don't get into Intermediate Creative Writing. I don't know. I'm freaked out.

7. I wrote I'm freaked out about Intermediate Creative Writing, but that's a HUGE understatement. I'm dying on the inside, and I cannot stop dying until I find out tomorrow if I'm in or not. I really just want to get in, otherwise I'm going to have to find a class to crash, and I really don't want to do that again — I already crashed Intro to Photography — since it's kind of a stress inducing thing. I die. I die, I die.

8. All of my classes are within two minutes of my dorm. This is not going to be a very 'walky' quarter. Interesting, interesting.

9. I've been watching 'Dollhouse,' 'Kings,' and 'Merlin' on the internet (I'm obviously too lazy to italicize those properly. Quotey quotes it is! But they're all pretty good shows. 'Dollhouse is the most intelligent, but 'Kings' has a lot to it. 'Merlin' isn't amazing, but I'm secretly loving it because there is obviously something going on between Arthur and Merlin that is bordering on Canon. There's Canon!slash! That almost never happens, and I, for one, am very pleased with it!

10. Home was lovely, but I did not get to hang out with many people. Quite *le tear*

11. I'M BACK ON FACEBOOK! HELL'S YEAH!

That's all... *goes back to hole/dorm to study*

Current Music: None.

The pipes, the pipes are calling...

2009-03-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

Happy Saint Patrick's Day (I provide the link, only in the hopes that you will chose to further your knowledge through all resources possible... including Wikipedia). It's turning out ot be a fairly bad day indeed. I think I bombed my Venetian Art and Architecture final... which isn't a total loss, per se, but is certainly depreciates my self worth, somewhat.

And my roomate pranked me so hard today. I was messing around, and pretending to have an Irish accent... which lead to me pretending to be a Leprechaun. In my room. With the door open. And then someone walked by, and I didn't see them, and my roommate said "THAT WAS CAPTAIN TALL N' HOT! HE LOOKED AT YOU LIKE YOU WERE RETARDED!!!"

Needless to say, I freaked out. I actually started hyperventilating and I fell to my knees flipping out. They thought I was about to start crying, since I thought he thought that I was retarded. I wasn't about to cry, but I was close to the verge of being about to cry. It was not amusing. And hyperventilating is not an exaggeration in the slightest. She told me she was joking and it wasn't him, but the adrenaline was still there.

I might just have to kick her in her Blarney Stone...

My roommates are so ~~weird~~ great.

Current Music: Danny Boy — Haley Westenra
The pipes, the pipes are calling...
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side.

Because you're still asking me that question.

2009-03-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

We need Equality... kinda now.

So it's old, but Joss Whedon's Equality Now Speech still resonates true. (Hell, I liked it so much I found the transcript of it). It's 8 minutes (well, just go 2 minutes in to see his part), well worth it. I don't want to be agreeing with everything he says, just because I'm a fangirl, and don't want to seem completely spineless. But I honestly agree with everything he says. With regards to television and movies, there is a lack of "strong female characters" that Joss is trying to fill and everybody keeps asking why he's doing it. But nobody's asking why no one else is doing it.

I think television and movies have a lot more power than people really want to believe, and writing vapid women just to fill the roll of a love interest is taking it for granted. Where women stand in society today could be ultimately changed if enough people started writing women characters that were worth following, and male characters that weren't afraid to follow them. Right now, looking at almost any television show, movie or music video, women are treated horribly and irrationally and it puts us all down.

I don't think things are going to change anytime soon.

Is this just thirteen years of single-sex education making me see things in the wrong light? Am I just convinced that the general media has it out for women in their most popular shows, and being thus convinced, refuse to see reason? Sometimes I swear I'm living in the past still. Why the hell are things so messed up?

And on another note. Hall Schmuck dissed San Francisco. But he dissed it on the basis that Irvine — where he comes from — is better because it is safer. What the hell? First off, there's less than 100,00 people there, so naturally there's going to be less crime. And second, it's alright not to like San Francisco (and I can understand why he might not like it, because he's a homophobe to the extreme, though if he ended up being gay I wouldn't mind because the thought of him reproducing is disgusting), but to say that Irvine is better? Where the fuck does he get off saying that? We have world class Operas, Ballets and hell, even a world class Circus School. Even the shitty areas of San Francisco are bustling with life and creativity and spirit. Irvine is a clonesville. It's a shithole clonesville. I'm so mad right now. He's such a fucking douche.

Another, another note. The Surf City Slackers gig at Fin's was an interesting experience. I know one of the band members, because he was my dad's best man. And I also designed the t-shirt and logo. It's pretty rad. Classic Rock that I don't know is always an interesting experience... good coffee though. :P

Current Music: The Freshman — The Verve Pipe
For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise.
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins;
We were merely freshmen

It took a moment and I could not be found!

2009-03-12T17:44:00.000-07:00

I do wish there was more going on over here in SC... things are dying down somewhat as finals loom ahead, and I, frankly am bored. I regret getting rid of my facebook, as I've done a sum total of zero extra studying. It was a foolish thing. I'm not planning on breaking my facebook-less pact anytime soon, but I don't think that I will do it again, with the intention of studying more. At least now I know I can go on without it.

So, once again; a random list of things of note. I wish I had one really important thing to blog about, rather than a bunch of little things going on in my life... all of which would probably make a shitty blog post on their own, but are at least content-full when smushed together with a bunch o' other little things. Did she just write o' instead of of? I think she did...

1. My roommates and I — mostly me — went through a pack of Oreos in less than a week. Accomplishment? Or Failure? You decide the outcome of this debate!

2. My alarm didn't go off today. Not too exciting, I missed the first 15 minutes of class with my chill CW teacher, except the night before last I dreamed that I had missed a final, but the teacher wrote on the door "Roses are red, violets are blue. These doors close at 8:00! Sucks to be you!" Eerie? Yus... indubitably!

3. Gay Robot Story WORKSHOPPED!! After the adventure with not getting workshopped last class like I was supposed to, it got bumped to this class (which I was late to, zomgnowai see aforementined item*dies*). It was sufficiently awkward. The menfolk in my class were very much of the "gayy?!?!?//41//5@!$@123$//1/1?!!?@?$?%#" attitude, as was expected. The end was cool though (I got the last word of the last workshop of the last class). My teacher always ends each person's workshop by saying that whoever was getting workshopped has "the last word." And just before he asked me I was saying "this is mindfuck after mindfuck and exciting times!" and he was all "You've got the last word." and I said "thank you." and he asked" Is that all? I think 'Mindfuck after mind fuck and exciting times' is a good place to end this." Needless to say, I totally said that. Last word of the last work shop of the last class... fuck yes.

4. Pictures!
"Ink-Attack,""Mistake Oreo," "Ice Cream Holder."

5. Because of my teacher, I think I'm going to enroll in Creative Writing again (with him, hopefully), in case I don't get into Intermediate Creative Writing. His class was so much fun! :D

6. Italian test? 85! I'm so happy with that, you have no idea. Though I purposefully used French words, instead than Italian, rather than accidentally.

7. I've got a vague-ish outline for my Venetian Renaissance paper. I am so done with that class, you cannot imagine. That paper is going to be written Sunday, no joke. It's all about where women fit in in Venice at the time of the Renaissance, I think. I'm just gonna do the most base of essays. Just get a little over four pages, and I'm happy. That sounds horrible, but it's really all I can really do. That class was such a mistake.

8. Finally. Jared Leto and 30 Seconds to Mars have issued a mission for the Echelon. We get to post the Glyphics around the world. A "total visual assault" is what Jared-poo called it. More info here. I'm excited, and have a few ideas, but I don't really get the point of it. No one outside of the band fans know about the Echelon. I guess it's just more of a pride in being a fan, sort of thing. I don't know. The chance to meet 30stm is a little too hard to pass up. The Blog layout is about the change for a while... are you excited? I am!

Current Music: None

My head and my heart are colliding chaotic!

2009-03-10T11:32:00.001-07:00

So these last few days (since my recent stint of blogging almost everyday has not lessoned overly much), have been both eventful and uneventful all at the same time. I'm still — and I suppose I always will be — Samuel Pepys. Observing mostly. And while things happen, nothing amazing as of late. So let us soldier on through the plod of Betsy Pepys's uneventful events.

Things of note, yet another comprehensive list by the one and only Betsy! :D

1. I want to go to the Post Secret Art Exhibition while it's in Walnut Creek. I sort of secretly love and check Post Secret whenever it updates, and I collect some that I really like and save them in a folder. If I'm feeling pensive, I shimmy to the folder and check them. I think this is one of the only things that is not really my style, but I enjoy anyway (which would ultimately make it my style... maybe?). But it's very indie, and scene-ish and that's really not me, but I love them. I kind of feel that one day I'll get the courage to write one and send it in. The favorite one of mine is from the person who wrote "I took one of our wedding invitations and wrote in big letters 'I WIN' and sent it to your ex." It just makes me smile in a way that's probably not really kind.

2. With regards to my desire to go on a "World's Largest Tour" I've decided that some of the things I want to experience some of the world's biggest slides and or roller coasters. Like this one which just looks fun, and this one (another picture here) in a mall! in Indonesia. Can you think of anything cooler? Yeah, I thought not!

3.I feel loved, via Twitter. (it reads from bottom to top)

I'm hoping he's talking about me! I really do. For those of you who don't know, Sam and Fuzzy is a webcomic I follow, and when he wrote about the Wokka wokka in the last strip, I immediately thought of Pacman. I'm sure it comes from something else that was in the comic before, but I honestly cannot remember what it was. Wokka wokka!

4. Here was my morning. I was sleeping when I got a text from my brother, talking about the next Star Trek movie. It came at 7:45, and my alarm was set for 7:55. I was feeling pretty chill, and thinking to myself "I don't have to get up for at least ten minutes, and then I have an hour before I have to go to class." So I'm lying in bed pondering life when this little thought meanders through my mind; "Doesn't my class start at 8:00? Didn't the text say it was sent at 7:45? Hmm... that's strange." I paused, and pondered. And then it hit me. "Oh. My. God."

But I made it to class on time! Barely, so it all sort of worked out. And it wasn't like I could skip, because I was workshopping my last piece today. Well, actually I should write "I was supposed to workshop my last piece today." Halfway through class, my teacher said that since only one person was going on Thursday, going then would probably work out better than having three people and then one person. This is my Robot Gay Sex Story. I've been wanting to get this over with and one for soooo long, and I have to wait even longer. Kill me now. And this was going to be my first 8:00 AM class where I had my home brewed coffee... I'm a sad puppy.

5. My Creative Writing Teacher hit 75 fucks today in class. It was so worth waking up late and missing breakfast, bathroom and brushing my teeth and hair to get him up there. I really want to tell him I've been counting his swears on thursday, since it's the last class. I'm excited!

6. I get my last Italian test back tomorrow. Then the final a week from thursday! Wish me luck!

7. 30stm released something in Rocksound about how there's going to be guest stars in the album. I'm a little excited, but not for the guest stars so much. My biggest fear is that Kanye West is going to be in it, because Jared keeps talking about him, and is such a fanboy. I'm rolling my eyes at him. I love you, Jared, but your Kanye thing is a little much, even for me.

8. I've got a paper due on Monday... haven't even started an outline. Go me.

9. Here's a picture of the Stop sign in my hallmate's car. This amuses me a lot.

10. iTunes binge. Caught up a little bit in the Country music scene. Life is goodish.

Current Music: Slow Me Down — Emmy Rossum
Slow me down!
Don't let love pass me by!
Just show me how,
'Cause I'm ready to fall

At least it isn't raining as the thunderhead approaches...

2009-03-08T12:05:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking that I was going to be able to see Watchmen this weekend.

I didn't get to go see Watchmen; we're seeing it on tuesday, because I've only got the one class early in the morning, and the girls don't have anything that day at all. For the evening, we decided to go to Sun Valley Mall, over near San Jose, and meet up with our other roommate who was home for the weekend.

That didn't happen either.

We're driving down highway 17 when the boy driving hears something rattle in his car, and sees the RPM go up to like 2000, so he decides to pull off onto a tiny exit road right by lexington reservoir (though we don't know it at the time). He thinks everything is okay, so he turns around on the road to pull back out onto 17 (we are literally 30 feet away from highway 17), and as he's turning and in the exact middle of the two lane road his car just stops. He tries to get it to go like five times (to at least get it out of where it is in the road), and can't. So we all get out of the car and wait while he calls AAA and his mom. And we're out there for a good 40 minutes to an hour or so (in the dark and cold), trying to figure out where we are — there's a sign, but we can't read it because it's on the other side of 17, and it's dark). We, for a very long time, could not tell where we were until we saw the water in the reservoir reflecting lights.

Then we see the tow-truck driving along 17... and he passes us. So we wait for another 20 minutes. The whole time we were waiting wastough though. People kept going through that road, fast and we had to make sure they stopped before they hit this guy's car. It was kind of adrenaline producing. We eventually get the tow truck, and Zach's mom drove us back to school.

Actually the only good thing about this story is that before we left, I packed my bag (because I didn't want to just be holding the application for Peet's that I turned in before all this), and I stuck in my camera, my iPod AND my Sioux sweatshirt. Why is that good? Because I got to use the line "Observe my foresight!" and the others starred at me like I was insane. It was pretty fun. Other than that... not so much. And there was a distinctive lack of hotties alongside the road as there usually are in situations like that that closely resemble the beginnings of horror films. I honestly thought we'd get the horror film thing going on. I was a little excited for it actually. I'm really in need for an adventure. And I wish I could upload the pictures I took on facebook... god damn my strong resolve to not go on there.

Happy Daylight Savings! I need to shower like a mofo. But I've gots my coffee... moohahahaha!

Current Music: Here We Are — Breaking Benjamin
So here we are, fighting and trying to hide the scars.

Wouldn't it be great if the band just never ended...

2009-03-06T18:52:00.001-08:00

So I'm sitting here alone, because both of my roomates are gone, and I've got no one to go to Winter Semi-Formal with... It's quiet in the hall, in what can only be assumed to be a lack of people because they're all at the Dance. It was a masquerade theme too... I've been wanting to go to a Masquerade themed dance since I can remember. This might have something to do with the film Labyrinth and this scene. Actually in the vampire story I'm writing, I'm toying with the idea of a Ball Scene with vampires, and the main character wearing a dress that changes color... but I don't want to reveal too much. Just fyi, it's gonna be good.

Back to my main predicament. I'm alone on a dance night. I was the one looking the most forward to this too, so I guess the fact that I'm not there can be construed as irony (maybe?). The idea of me not having a date was acceptable from the get-go, but not going at all? Where does that fit in? I'm a little miffed at the fact that I didn't push harder to go, but at the same time going to a dance with boys when I'm not surrounded in the safety net of girls is a little intimidating. To quote Cady Harron's father Maybe we mainstream-schooled you too soon. I just just transfer to an all-girls' college. Go to the east coast and be surrounded by white girls and feel a little woeful, but a lot less shy. I act different around boys, stupider and quieter and all the things about me that make me likable are repressed. Sad, but true.

Nobody out of my 'friends' on the floor asked me if I wanted to go at all...

And the lonely feeling has doubled ten-fold because I just realized the last people to email me were my father, my teacher from high school and only one of my friends. I've been sending emails out frantically, just because of the lack facebook and that need to connect with people and nobody's responded. That does tend to make someone feel a little low...

I'm going to watch Dead Poet's society over a cup of decaf. Lonely Friday night, indeed.

All I want to do is go home...

Current Music: Consequence Free — Great Big Sea
Wouldn't it be great, if the band just never ended?
We could stay out late and we would never hear last call.
We wouldn't need to worry about approval or permission,
We could slip off the edge and never worry about the fall!

Raining at sunset...

2009-03-05T15:31:00.000-08:00

Today I got a package that I was expecting tomorrow afternoon. What was this package, you ask? It was my coffee! My beautiful, beautiful coffee! I cannot think of anything more beautiful than the coffee that I now have. My dad is amazing. He sent me two zippies full of caffeinated coffee and two of decaf! And the wee coffee press he found and sent is just perfect for one cup of coffee. It's so itty-bitty!! :D The picture is of me and my first cuppa in a very long time. I'm feeling so calm right now. I'm embarrassed to say that I'm officially an addict. I was just smelling the coffee grounds, and my mind just went to another place. I don't know if this is a good thing, but it certainly is not a bad thing. Besides, I could be addicted to something terrible like heroin, but I'm not! I am, in fact, addicted to coffee! I could literally turn down any of the illicit things in the world for a good cuppa Joe. The highlight of my morning tomorrow is making coffee after breakfast and using my new travel mug (it's pink and has my school emblem! happy days!)

And it was raining at almost sunset right now. It was so bizarre. It was only sprinkling a little bit at our building, but if you walked about fifty feet towards Cardiac Hill it's raining a lot. And you could see the sun shining through it (gloriously, I might add), and it's fantastically pretty here in college, if I do say so myself. I'm secretly loving the "bad weather," since it isn't bad weather for me. It's amazing. It's like a cleansing thing every time I walk out of building into the rain. And it's not even raining hard most of the time. It's more than sprinkling, but it's not horrible pouring (although I like that too). It's just pleasant soft rain. And since there's so many trees here, every thing has this clean, green feeling.

Other than that, today was boring. Without facebook, I'm feeling very cut off from the rest of the world. I send out emails and pretty much, since all my friends are busy, the only one who responds is my dad. We had a lovely conversation, ending with me, I guess, going to apply to Peet's coffee. I wouldn't mind, but it was a little random. I've been working on an resume anyway so I guess I get to download a copy of the application and just turn it in (and go back like every week until I get the job apparently, go figure on the job advice, dad).

And This Song gave me goosebumps. No lie.

Goodnight Echelon... dream with the gods.
-Jared Leto

Current Music: Charge Into the Sun — The Briggs
You must learn to trust no one!
Smile as the charge into the sun.
And when it’s over we can sing
“I saw it on TV!”

I try to be like Grace Kelly, but all of her looks were too sad.

2009-03-02T10:51:00.001-08:00

I love the rain.
I love the rain in my hair
And I love running my hands through my hair
after walking in the rain.
Walking through the rain without a hood up.
And umbrellaless.
The rain is like my people.
The Vikings of old who'd just walk through the rain.

I'm secretly loving the rain... I can't think of anything better right now.

So the big news for today is that my dad is sending me our old coffee press, and some magnificent Pete's French Roast. This is probably the world's best coffee, and I've been coffeeless for far too long. The mere thought of having this coffee here is making me salivate, literally salivate! I'm a huge fan of coffee, and the stuff they serve here at the dining hall is horrible. It's a blasphemy against nature itself. Like, if the devil took a dump, and some bug decided to brew that into coffee, it would probably be better than the coffee they serve here. I'm exaggerating, but only a little. I might be biased, because good coffee is pretty much the lifeblood. I cannot honestly come up with an equivalent the layperson could understand. Just know that this is pretty much the highlight of my college experience. I'm fighting back the urge just to call all of my friends and tell them the news. To emphasize my love of coffee, I must direct you to this video which, I believe encapsulates my very existence... psychopathic tendencies and all.

And I missed out on yesterday's class in Creative Writing, so I didn't get to count how many times he swore. Right now I'm up to 64 fuck's. I actually have a meeting with him to 'discuss my journal.' Which is him basically just looking at it my journal and seeing if I've been doing the exercises. I hope he doesn't notice my little tally marks. And I've been keeping a shitload of post-its in there, and I'm not sure I should take them out, since they all are just ideas for stories from when I didn't have my journal or was too lazy to get it out. I'm about to go, and I'm not going to lie, I'm scared shitless. :/

88 on the last Italian test, and much ignoring by the Italian Stallion. Go figure.

All I've really got going for me boy wise is the "Cafeteria Sluts." The hotties (with the bodies!), that I only ever see in the dining hall. There's nothing emotionally invested in them, I just love to look. It was a good day today at lunch, because I saw Skater Slut, Chem Slut, Baby Slut and Lip Ring Slut all within a half hour period. And this was after finding out about m dad sending me the coffee, so I was extremely happy already. Yeah, this has been a pretty good day (save for the inevitable doom that's going to come from my meeting with my teacher). And I've got a workshop tomorrow! Last one, hoorah! :D

And more news! I get to crash Introduction to Photo (huzah for being on the waitlist!), and for Intermediate Creative Writing, I have to wait until the first few classes in order see if I've been accepted or not. So I'm only enrolled in one class. Not good. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to find at least one other class to fill my schedule if I don't get into the Creative Writing class. It's a bit of a drag. Ah well...

I miss facebook.

Current Music: Grace Kelly — Mika
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me,
Without making me try?

With curves in all the right places.

2009-02-23T20:45:00.000-08:00

It's been less than 24 hours without facebook. I feel like a drug addict without a fix. I'm joking, but only a little bit. And I've got a count-up under my facebook badge that will tell how many days I've been without facebook. I should try to just see how long I can go without it. It would be exciting at first, but once I got used to it, boring. Blargh. Hopefully I'll get more stuff done without having facebook as a constant presence in my life.

Things of note;
1. One of the many goals that isn't really a goal, but rather something I want to do before I die is go on a road trip, or a world wide vacation (because not all the world is accessible by the road) where I go see everything (or almost everything) that has been classified as "The World's Largest" such as The World's Largest McDonalds or some of the World's Largest Vending Machines. Although I have a slight advantage, since I lived near one of the world's biggest sundials. I can walk to it in less than two minutes from my house.

2. I've been watching the TV show Dollhouse which is probably the best thing to ever happen to me. Even if I wasn't a Joss fan before (which I am. I'm in the Cult of Joss), I would still be in love with this movie. It is incredible. I love Echo, the main character, which is weird because she doesn't actually have a personality (as is the premise of the story), and gets all these weird things implanted into her brain that make her different each episode. Not relatable, right? Wrong! She is the coolest person since all the ladies from Firefly, and then Buffy.

3. I finished up the iTunes gift card that my brother gave me for Christmas, so now I've got like 10 new songs that I got yesterday (I spent some of it earlier). It's weird, I've got the weirdest songs ever. I bought the video for Jizz in my Pants, and I've got some songs by Mika and Gym class heroes (including two I was introduced to watching MTV france), and I also got "O... Saya" from Slumdog Millionaire. There's some more, but in general it's a pretty random collection. This one is the best, no question! Probably because it's an extremely hot singer saying that plus sized is just fine! :D

4. Speaking of getting things done; I've got about 18-21 pages (depending on font size, and how big I make the margins) of my Robot Story (the robot story that has robot/human gay sex. I'm so proud of this, I'm not even joking!) The working title of which is "Versus Humans." I find that I am my most productive on Friday nights anyway, but this was weird. I just kept writing and writing. It was cool, but scary. I just hope this will last, because if it does, Famous Novelist! Here I come! And I need to get something for my workshop done too, so it'll be interesting.

5. Tired of being fat. Will get off computer more and move. Or I'll head on down to the Butterfly Lounge... :P

Current Music: Big Girl (You are Beautiful) — Mika
Head on down the Butterfly Lounge
And find yourself a big lady!

In the warm California sun...

2009-02-22T12:17:00.000-08:00

Clam Chowder Festival was a magnificent display of the power of awesome people in large groups. And I fucking love chowder, so that helped too. It was super crowded, but I was just so in love with the whole idea of a Clam Chowder cookoff, that I didn't really notice. It was incroyable, to the max. My favorite group didn't win anything, but I think I can handle the trauma of that... time heals all wounds, don'tchaknow? And I haven't been to the Beach Boardwalk in a super long time; so that was fun too. The Giant Dipper is probably the best wooden roller coasters ever; especially considering it was built in 1924 (I didn't know that, I was reading the wikipedia article). I seriously wanted to go on again and film the entire ride, because that would have just been jolly super! Although (weight problem!), my thighs got squished pretty good in the train... and everybody else said that it was super loose for them. Embarrassing... *sighs*

And the beach was fun too. I haven't actually been to a beach in a really long time, so that was a nice change...

Now I'm watching the Oscars, and so far the dresses are a little weird. I'm a little disappointed, really. There's some things going for the dresses like I love the color of Kate Winslet's dress, but then there are parts that are just so weird. And the horrible editing from channel 7 has been pretty distracting. Like they literally filmed one of the guys saying "Wait. Start over!" Someone is going to get fired... So I'm a little bummed. I can't really articulate things right now, but 'bummed' seems like a fitting word.

It's been a weird weekend. Yesterday was sooo packed, and nothing happened today! I was going to work on Italian, but that was a bust. I've been sitting around and doing nothing. It's a depressing thought really. I really wish something exciting would happen. As of late, I've been observing things, while not really experiencing anything. Watching blooming romances, and school-related tension has been what's going on with me. I'm not really under a lot of pressure school-wise, and nothing romantic has been going on with me, while I'm watching my roommates and some friends back home get manfriends. I'm manfriendless right now. It's a sad thing indeed. *sighs* I'm such a patient friend.

Current Music: Something to Sing About — Once More With Feeling
Give me something to sing about.
I need something to sing about.
Life's a song you don't get to rehearse
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse

Way down to Kokomo...

2009-02-20T10:27:00.001-08:00

So I'm super depressed, but my hair is looking super pretty. This juxtaposition is confusing me...
Observe;

Do you notice the lovely looking hair though? I just don't understand it. It's a mystery wrapped in a conundrum.

And yus, depression again. I think I'm just tired, and I'm going to sleep a lot this weekend. That should be good.

But the real high light for the weekend is going to be the Santa Cruz Clam Chowder Cookoff & Festival for my roommate's birthday. I'm super excited for this. I just hope that there are a lot of photographing opportunities, because that's pretty much what makes me smile these days. :) And I got the Clam Chowder song for my roommate's ringtone now. Every time she calls me it will sing the Clam Chowder song. I'm super excited.

This always makes me smile. And everybody needs a smile. :)

Now is (the hour of our discontent) the time to go on a Beach Boys binge.

Current Music: Bad Horse — Dr. Horrible's Sing Along
Bad Horse, Bad Horse
Bad Horse, he’s bad
The evil league of evil is watching so beware
The grade that you receive’ll be your last, we swear
So make the bad horse gleeful, or he’ll make you his mare

Try and stop me...

2009-02-19T21:45:00.000-08:00

In a lot of ways I feel like Samuel Pepys. Only in that a lot of shit happens to me, and most of the time I'm really just observing and writing it down. My blog could be the next Pepys diary... that's a funny thing to ponder. And a little conceited of me, to be sure, but it is a fun thought to entertain nonetheless. That was a pretty random thought actually, moving on.

Speaking of entertaining, I've been watching this. Just this one episode, but it's been pretty impressive. I hate these kind of San Franciscans. They're so snobby and rude; it's the self-righteous liberals like the man on this show that really make my stomach churn. And it's really bizarre, because I know the school that they're talking about where the kids go, and I was all "holy shit! There's paintballing in SF?!" I hate to think that guys like Stephan Fowler exist in the place where I call home. Actually, I know very well they exist, and I've met a few of them, and I hate them with a passion. Where some people would say things like the extreme hippie-ism is the pox of my city, I can look them straight in the eye and say "No, it's not the hippies that will fuck us over, but the yuppies." And just for good measure, some San Franciscans feel the same; which you should watch if you don't want to go through the whole episode. I hate to say he deserves it, but he kind of does. There is no excuse for cruelty. I may not be in the 99.9th percentile like this educated man (though I'm close), but I would trade all of my intelligence for kindness. It's not something to be overlooked, and while I would never go to the extreme that the people in the News Report there's a part of me that secretly wants to. I'd love to get rid of that part of myself.

That being said. I'm bored.

And feeling awfully 5th wheel here. It's when there's 2 couple-esque things that my roommates are are around you, rather than just one. And my friend back home as well has a manfriend. I'm so creative! But I am a bit lonely. It's not been the most fun to be me recently. I'm not completely complaining (in fact, I'm kind of alright single, I think), but it is hard sometimes. I am a bit jealous, but only because I'm impatient to wait for when I get to be the lucky one. It's not great, but it's alright. And I'm having a lot of fun being the "I'm going to wrestle you to his door and knock on it and runaway" friend. It's quite fun. I do wish I was

And I bought shoes. These shoes. But in black suede instead. I got like the last pair! I'm super happy about this. I'm going (gay) clubbin' with the roomies and a gay friend. I needed shoes (duh!).

And finally, I wrote something that I thought was really cool, and really raw and really sexy. It was only about a page long and I guess it would be categorized as Prose-poetry, but I don't know. It's cool, and I called it "Like Nekkid, Collarbone Chutney." And I actually thought it was kind of funny, and interesting. But it's for my workshop now, and might very well be picked apart piece by piece because that' what they do. There's some other stuff (this was literally a mash-up of a bunch of different shit), but I'm the most worried about this — which is stupid because I wrote a Shakespearian sonnet dedicated to Steve Irwin — because it's different from pretty much everything I've done. Nervous? Yus.

Happy it's almost the weekend? Double yus! I'm going to be sleeping so hard!

Only three fuck's from the Creative Writing Teacher. I think he's catching onto me...

Current Music: Rockstar — Nickelback
And we'll haul out in the private rooms,
With the latest dictionary in today's Whose-who.

Harumph indeed.

2009-02-16T18:21:00.000-08:00

Jared Leto makes 4o strangers his Valentine. I love that psychopathic, little man. I wish I had a stuffed animal of him so I could huggle it whenever I felt low. I wish he would give me a flower. I wish someone would give me a flower. Harumph.

So I'm back at the dorms again, and I really feel like last weekend was not nearly as long as advertised. I didn't even get to see Christine. How woeful indeed. Harumph raised to the 2nd degree. Harumph and balderdash. Harumph is what EmoBetsy says.

And there was hail. Loads of hail. Bucketfuls in fact. It was very haily, and I was a little panicked because it happened right after my mom dropped me off, and I was silently freaking out about her being on the road when the hail hit and swerving and dying. I hate having my mom drive me around, whenever she has to go back on 17 I freak out a little bit, because it's so swerve-y. I am very fond of her new car though. It's got 4-Wheel-Drive... I've named it Darth George. I'm a little attached to it. :)

One of the girls in my Creative Writing class brought her little niece in today, so my teacher swore once, and only once. I'm a little bummed. I do so wish he would have sworn more. I was so desperate to count his swears since I missed last class, and was thoroughly disappointed. Balderdash.

Zomg! Harumph! The timing of this video is amazing. Since I'm in a very Harumph mood. It's exciting... I've got to go study. So much for a blog post.

Current Music: None

A sad excuse for a Valentine...

2009-02-14T17:40:00.001-08:00

I went to Costco today, and am sad to report only 14 gay couples were spotted. I usually hit 17+. It's sad, because there were so many people there! I suppose since it's Valentine's day, all of my lovely gay men were doing something better than shopping at Costco. Alas indeed. And I didn't get that much stuff, unfortunately, just water for the dorm, and some cereal and frozen foods for home. It's a little boring. Oh! And I got Nutella, so that should be good!

Not much is going on over here back home (but it's okay, because I'm back, fucking home!!). I'm mostly just dreading studying for Italian, and working on my stuff for creative writing. It's a little annoying, to say the least. I really wish I had more time to relax. *le sigh* But it's cool, all my stuff will eventually get done; it always does. I'm just a little worried, because instead of just one solid story for Creative Writing, I just kind of thought to myself "Why don't I just put together all the little things that don't actually have a home yet, but I sort of just put on paper to get out of my head so I could concentrate on actual work. (Run-on sentence, ftl). And I don't think any of them are any good, except in my one poem I quote a Cheb Khaled song, which makes me smile a little bit. Although that stanza (which, btw is in french), does not fit in with the rhyme scheme of the rest of the poem. Whatev's, I care little.

One thing that does irk me somewhat is my lonely state on Valentine's day. It's such a consumer holiday, and I keep telling myself that, but I still feel left out of all the fun. I've gone through 19 Valentine's day and I've never been kissed. It's a woeful life indeed. I feel like... retarded... romance-wise. In that I'm the last to have anything interesting happen to me. I mean, I didn't have my first crush until I was like 16. Still haven't been kissed. I don't think I've even held hands with a guy. How weird is that? I'm not complaining per se, but all of that is extreme evidence for my retardedness (did she just say 'retardedness?' I think she did!). It's interesting to say the least. I'm sure there are people who want to lock me up in a room and do weird boy-related experiments on me just for the hell of it. I blame my previous 13 years of education. I'm stunted. Retarded and stunted. I may as well be riding the short bus. C'est la vie.

This was just cool. *nods knowingly*

And finally, Tetris has consumed my life to a degree that is very stupid. I've gotten to level 13, and have lost about 6/10's of my soul in the process. But I've gotten to level effin' 13! Two more levels to go and I'm golden! :D :D :D Lookies!
*clickie clickie*

But that's a screencap of the 'leaderboard.' I scribbled out people's name as a sort of lame way of protecting them (since this is posted to blogger before it gets to facebook), and added some of my awesome commentary o'course! (whoups; not St. Patty's day yet!). But I'm feeling awfully good about myself. Smug even, but not quite smug, because I haven't gotten to level 15 yet; though I must admit that I am rubbing my hands together in the dead of night saying things such as "soon, my precious, sooooon..." It's been a fun ride. Hallmate only introduced us to this, I think, last week or the week before. But it's been a very short amount of time, and has consumed my roommates and I. It's pretty bad... facebook Tetris, you will be the end of me. I hope that once I get to level 15, I'll just be able to call it quits and ignore it. I think that would be great...

That was my Valentine's day. Can't wait to see what happens next year.

Current Music: Leavin' On a Jet Plan — John Denver
Every place I go, I'll think of you.
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you.
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring...

And I'll stand watch alone...

2009-02-10T23:14:00.000-08:00

Some things to note; important things. Things that have been going on in my life as of late. Huzah for things.

1. I was lurking around facebook a little bit and I found some people who I went to Burke's with and looked at their pictures. I realized how weird my life would be if I decided to go to school with them, rather than where I went. I mean, things would have been so strange if I decided just to be closer friends with them than I was. I had a few playdates with one of them in 2nd grade, and just didn't feel the urge to go through with it. I didn't think she was very smart, or something stupid like that. She was probably the richest girl in the school. If I had been friends with her, I might have been in on some weird European and Northern African adventures, methinks. I know I really want the sort of rich, bohemian but aristocratic lifestyle she has.

And I kind of also want artistic friends who would just take really nice black and white, candid pictures of me. I honestly can't think of anything cooler, and I think it's just because I'm the 'photographer' really of my group, and that makes me rarely in the pictures, and if I am, I don't think they look very good. If there was another photographer in the group there might be some decent pictures of me out there.

2. I've fallen in love again with "Fields of Gold" by Sting. It's so sexy and romantic. *dies*

3. Kerrang! did an interview about the album that 30stm is working on! I'm so excitingly excited. Especially since the other night (before I found this), I had a dream about Jared Leto! I was at one of his concerts with Audrey and I asked this girl to save my spot in line because I needed to go home and get my camera, and then I came back and the girl was all "Psh, I gave it to someone else!" But Jared saw and was all "Wow, she's a bitch, you can have a spot in the front. And then Shannon Leto gave me a guitar and a guitar pick. There were a lot of other details (one of my big questions is why was I in a prom dress, and why was the concert in Golden Gate Park?), but I'm okay with not knowing everything. It was a really happy dream.

4. Then last night (well, this morning, because I woke up, intending to go to class and then I went back to bed), I had this weird flying dream. But it was more like base jumping, but there wasn't that rush of adrenaline you get in dreams when you're falling or what not. I was in Ireland and started off on this weird island, and then the wind picked me up (I went to this place three times in a row), and carried me over the ocean and I landed in this little Irish village. It was interesting. Like a neutral dream, which I always love.

5. Valentine's day is still for Losers. I wish I hadn't finished that chocolate bar...

6. I bought new shoes today... Here. I think they're quite cute actually. I've never owned real Converse before, so I'm excited to have these. :)

7. I've been playing Facebook Tetris like a fiend, and I don't like what it's doing to a) my social life and b) my school work. Not that it's entirely hindering either of the two things, it's more like if I continue the way I am, something bad is going to happen. Right now I'm supposed to be working on my the take-home portion of my midterm for my Venetian Renaissance class, and I have barely started it. It's supposed to be approximately six pages, and so far I've got maybe a page. I'm in good shape. *shrugs* Ah well, c'est la vie.

8. And, finally. This made me giggle... if only because it's kind of what I think whenever I see the Pepsi logo too...

9. Ohmigosh!!! One more super-duper, splendiforific, outstanding and phenomenal thing of note that I completely forgot, but cannot forget because God help me, it's amazing! Alright! Here goes! My Creative Writing Teacher has gotten up to 55 Fucks, 11 Shits, 2 Bastards and 1 Ass! I think this is really amusing.

10. Gah! One more. 81 on my last Italian Test. Really bad? Yus... >.<

Current Music: Korobeiniki — Tetris
Instrumental... God I'm pathetic...

I'm on my way to better days...

2009-02-06T21:45:00.000-08:00

What's going on? It's time for a Linkfest!

"I've been gaming out of my mind (I got to level 12 from level 1!) and dabbling with the idea of having a resume because I'm considering a summer job (yes, at Planet Granite, that would be the shit). But I could be an actor, but I'd probably pull a Christian Bale and have to get recast (Hopefully Jared Leto!!!). God I'm bored, not this bored, but about this bored (can you tell which word I stuck into google? Or should I say elgoog?). Hey ya! this TV is huge! I would probably wreck it! Btw WTF?!"

Right. That was one of the lamer linkfest!s. Sorry. There just isn't anything interesting going on on the internet right now. Though I am thinking of entering this, which I don't think is linkfest! worthy, but still pretty cool. $250 would be awesome to have.

And I wasn't joking about playing Tetris. It's been kind of intense. I got to level 12 from level 1 this morning. Both of my roommates and I woke up and started playing, and it's been pretty intense. One of my roommates starts on level 9 and keeps trying to see how far she can go. She got up to level 14 before running out of space. It's been hardxcore to say the least. I'm better at the longer games where you start out at a low level and move up instead of starting at a high level and seeing how far you can go from there. It's like a tournament in here.

Btw, on a slightly related note; one of my biggest fears is that my mom thinks that I'm her connection to popular culture today. Really though, I'd probably be better off asking her about popular culture.

Bought myself some chocolate. Happy Valentine's day to me. Valentine's Day is for Losers, '09!! (I'm so lonely!). I might be going home Valentine's day weekend because of President's day. Part of me worries that I'm missing the opportunity to get a Valentine, but then again, if someone wanted to be my Valentine they would have asked by now. I've got no prospects, so I might as well go home. Valentine's Day is for Losers, '09... I wish I was wrong, but I'm not. :/

Current Music: Tiny Dancer — Elton John
Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for gone.

To lie here under you is all...

2009-02-05T14:56:00.000-08:00

Ugh. So I had my first "Workshop" today for my Creative Writing class. It's a little miserable, since the rule is you have to sit through people talking about your work for forty-ish minutes while you can't talk. I was a little weirded out. All I wanted was to say "What I meant was..." or "Well, that's because..." but I couldn't. Quite irritating. And when I gave them the work last class (since they have to take it home and read it and bring it back with corrections), I got excited because I wasn't lugging twelve copies of a six page short story around. But then I realized that after the workshop today we get all our stories back. Yeeks. And now I get to go through and look at what everybody said about my work, and read their critiques. I'm most worried about what my teacher had to say. He writes whole pages (while others write paragraphs) for his responses, and he is a bit of a genius. And I abuse semi-colons, and I abused them atrociously in this piece, I think. I'm a fiend.

And there's this part about a deer, and I spelled it "dear" not once, but THREE TIMES! Fuck me...

I still kind of think that it's a good story though (it is a good story!), I'm just so self conscious. I think I'm going to wait a while before reading the critiques and corrections (besides the "dear" thing... obviously), just to sort of distance myself from it all. Workshops are pretty chill, but they're also extremely intense and charged. It's a sort of 'quiet charged' feeling. Interesting to say the least...

My teacher said "Fuck" seven times today. It was really amusing, especially since most of it was when they were talking about my piece... life is interesting.

I've got an Italian test tomorrow and my Venetian Renaissance midterm. Yikes... yikes and blargh...

Oh dear god. Valentine's day is coming up. Worst Holiday Ever. I'm only saying that because I'm bitter as hell, but the fact remains that this holiday is insane. *sighs* Insanely insane. If there are any developments on the boy front for Valentine's day, I'll update you, but as of this moment, I am taking a stand for the "Valentine's Day is for Losers" campaign. *nods*

And it's raining... bother.

Current Music: Rain — Breaking Benjamin
To lie here under you is all that i could ever do,
To lie here under you is all.
Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

Yeah, everything is alright...

2009-01-29T20:46:00.000-08:00

It's oddly liberating, in a bad way, to realize I have no goals. I know this is like most people my age, but I think it's especially relevant to me, since I kind of realized the other night that spending the rest of my life with the Literature Department freaks is not what I wanted to do. I still want to be a writer, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to train for something else entirely. I was looking around websites and found myself on the page for — get this — the Air Force. And it was frighteningly clear and easy to read. After college I could join up as an officer in the airforce, and it sounds kind of fun too... in a strange, "I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life..." sort of way.

Things of note;

1. Heath Ledger has been dead for more than a year now. He died on the 22nd of January, and I passed by it for no reason at all. I even posted that day, which is not cool... not at all. I guess it's good that I'm not obsessed with him so much that I do something special on the anniversary of his death, but the idea that it passed by without me noticing at all is disconcerting. I barely wrote about it last year, but it really was weird. Before I stumbled on one of my friend's posts on lj, I did not even know what day he died. I was in art class when I found out last year. One of the girls had emailed something to herself and it was on the hotmail news (or something like that). We were all freaking out about it, and then our teacher walked in and said "I have an announcement to make!" and all of us thought that she was going to say that Ledger had died, but then it was some nonsense about the class. It's weird... It's already been one year...

2. NiteOwlCookies are amazing, and my only wish is that they would serve at times other than late at night!

3. I went Star Gazing with the Hall People last night. It was quite fun. I was (and still am), sick as hell, and every time someone made me laugh it hurt like a bitch and I started coughing hella, but it was still awesome. We went to the East Field, and could see so much. It was insane. And there were about 40 (I exaggerate, but only a little), deer. I've become quite enamored of those little creatures. While they are not my totem animal (the most noble Red Panda and the Proud and Dignified Hedgehog... and possibly the Wombat), they are still quite rad. I wish Phoenixes were real though, because they are awesome too.

4. My roommates and I watched the Lion King this morning, instead of doing homework. It's now 5ish, and I've yet to start on my multitude of homework.

5. I'm still sick. It's insane. My throat is like a dead, dying thing. I cannot handle it without shedding a wee tear.

6. Italian Test number 2 is back. And I got another 92. (!!!) It's great, but what the hell? Two 92's in as many tests? While I'm happy I didn't go lower than a 92, I wish I had gotten higher. I hope I don't get more 92's. It was oddly disconcerting. And the Italian Stallion still had a bad score. Maybe on day I'll tutor him and he'll fall madly in love with me! And we'll live out our lives in Venice eating pasta!

I think that's it. I wish I had more interesting things to write, but alas, I don't! :/

Current Music: Everything is Alright — Motion City Soundtrack
So lets not get carried away
Away with the process...
I don't want to waste your time!

See the lights; see the party; the ball gowns...

2009-01-27T19:04:00.000-08:00

So I'm sick, but that's okay, because I went downtown with the roomies today and I got not one but three Prom magazines. And the best part is, I'm never going to have a prom again! I can just look at the dresses for the hell of it! And the dresses this year are looking hot (from what I've seen while waiting for one of my roommates to try stuff on in a store). Some of the colors I've seen are either super amazing (I've picked up some very deep blues from Flirt, for example), or super fugly and fun to laugh at (Neon green princess dress? I didn't think so either). But it seriously got me to thinking though;

What the hell is going on with fashion these days? Seriously, for a while back in high school I could walk into a store and find things that were "pretty" but now everything is "trendy." But just because it's trendy does not mean it looks good (I could rant about skinny jeans for about 15 paragraphs, but I won't). So why are the trends looking so bad lately? I really don't get it? What's so good about weird coloring that does not match, ~~thin as fuck and practically transparent~~ distressed t-shirts, and oddly fitting clothing. It's different is what it is. And in a lot of ways different can be good, but right now I think it's looking so crummy. Lamé leggings are not chic, they're fugly. Not only can most people NOT pull these styles off, even if they could they look like retards. It's annoying.

Some good things, I'm sure, have come out of recent styles, but the way they're being portrayed right now is kind of gross. I find myself constantly looking at the clothes kids are wearing and finding myself completely grossed out. Pantyhose with holes in them (not runs, ratty holes); puffy muumuu-esque skirts; and shapeless (or too-shaped) sweaters. Ew. I'm a little miffed.

It's just a phase, I keep telling myself this, but I'm so annoyed with the way clothing is looking right now. There used to be flow-y, beautifully colored things. Now things are strange. It's a sad day for fashion indeed. That being said, I really want these shoes.

Current Music: Love Story — Taylor Swift
We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standing there...
On a balcony in summer air!

Everyone deserves a birthday party...

2009-01-24T22:01:00.000-08:00

So... I went on the Walk For Life yesterday. I was a little hesitant to tell my friends what I was doing... I honestly thought that being in San Francisco (also the Bay Area in general) and being 'pro-life' was a rarity. There had to have been at least 15,000 people (but I'm being very strict)... the Walk For Life website is estimating closer to 30,000 people walked today... which is actually totally believable. There were just so many people! It was a completely strange experience. Father Francis, my mom and I were waiting for my dad to get the car and we counted 50 full sized charter busses pass us by. That's right; 50! If those busses hold an average of 40 people each that's an easy 2000 people right there. Its annoying, since it doesn't get publicized in San Francisco. If anything the 100 (yeah, only about 100) 'pro-choice' people will be in the paper "Protesting the Fascist Radical Catholics." Gotta love the Liberal Media... tens of thousands of people can gather together, but if they don't like what it's gathering for then they won't report it. No bias here at all...

Yesterday was also the first time I was called a Fascist to my face. The guy who did it was (I think) one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, but I'm not sure. I liked the picture I got of him, in all his bizarre glory (I'm an artist first). And frankly, I kind of liked being called a Fascist, while he was waving a Condom around. If this is being a Fascist, it's not bad at all. *shrugs*

And I went to a party with some of my friends from my summer job (the one I hated, but at least my co-workers were nice). It was really weird because me, and another girl were the oldest ones, and the rest of the kids were high school students, most of them Juniors or younger. It was quite bizarre. I mean, I love them all, and I didn't think that a quarter in college would change the way I looked at them so much. Weird as hell. *shrugs*

Current Music: None

Dell'amore non si sa...

2009-01-22T19:01:00.001-08:00

I think injuries on your hands are the most interesting. I got a cut on my hand, so it's on my mind (and on my hand!). But it's kind of stupid. I remember learning in psychology that a large part of the brain is composed of taking care of and moving the hands, so that might be part of it. We just use our hands so much that an injury there is almost more debilitating than an injury on the leg, or upper arm or stomach. And our hands are so complex too. All those little tendons and muscles all get shot to hell with one little cut.

Here's my cut. It's not sexy;
~~but it's kind of cute~~.
So anyway, that's what's going on in my life, right now. I'm going home for the weekend (again... lame), to do some family stuff, and possibly go to a party. I want to chill with la Marilyn, but I'm pretty sure I won't have any time. It's really annoying. I just kind of hope that the party's fun. At least it's in walking distance of my house... so if it's lame I can just go home. I'm going to be so tired after Saturday though. And I have to come back Sunday. Yeesh. And I have to study too. Oy vey...

Finally, I got a 92 on my Italian Test!! I'm a happy camper indeed. :D I'm fucking loving that class. And I was listening to this song that I've had for a while, but never really thought about that is in Italian and I could understand some of it! It was so cool. And (double-bonus), there's a hottie, code-named "The Italian Stallion" (thanks Stinie!), and he is brilliant! Brilliantly hot. Quite exciting. (On a related note; Captain Tall n' Hot is still tall and hot. Irksome, but totally okay, because that means I can enjoy him! :D All guy stuff is still going on the Hibiscus for those who understand the code {the Pirate code!} in case you were wondering).

Current Music: Dell'amore Non Si Sa — Andrea Bocelli
Parla al mio cuore digli che sai
Dei miei dolori che non dormon mai
Parlami o stella
e dimmi se lei verrà
Notte d'agosto e dei desideri
Cerco amore e vorrei che s'avveri
Lei che sorride passando per la mia via

Man draggin' a sheepskin. Reekin', preaching of weekend...

2009-01-21T13:29:00.000-08:00

I made my first 911 call on Monday on the way back to school with my mom. It was probably the most thrilling my life has ever been... especially since it was just reporting an accident. The irony here is not lost on me. But it was still pretty awesome nonetheless.

I'm so boring.

And I was thinking about it, why in God's name do I have to trip and fall while walking next a cute guy? It's not okay. Seriously... Not. Okay. I was just walking, minding my own business, and I see this cute guy walking the other way and I was all "hey! he's a cutie!" and I made eye contact with him, and then tripped over nothing and fell. What the hell!? So he helped me up, but my ego (and my hand) is still very hurt. I don't think I'll ever recover from this.

Finally, whenever I try to write something emotional a lot of times it ends up with one of the characters getting angsty and saying "I'm sorry." a lot. It just seems like the thing to do, but is very much becoming a trend with me. I'm moderately annoyed. I think guilt is my big focus when it comes to story telling. I either need to work that angle more, or break out of that shell. Some lovely equilibrium would be nice, but until that happens, I am stuck. :/

Finally, finally. I really really want cake. Just a chocolaty chocolate cake. Of awesome. Am I the only one? My mouth is WATERING just thinking about it. WATERING!!!

Current Music: None

We're the lucky ones.

2009-01-17T12:20:00.000-08:00

So, I have this tendency to count things. I don't mean to, it just happens. Like the post I was talking about how I'm keeping track of the number of times my creative writing teacher swears. So today I was in Costco, and I counted 17 different gay couples! It was amazing! I was thoroughly impressed with it, to say the least. I never really noticed my counting thing before though; now that I'm aware of it, I am picking it up everywhere... I'm weird.

And what's this? Labels?! I'm using blogger labels on my posts! How did this happen? Honestly? I was just a little bored. And I dont' want to study, because I'm very *le tired,* and Italian is going to kill me eventually. And I'm not so bored as to go back into the 950+ posts that I have and label every one of them (though that totally would be something I would do...), but I'm going to start labeling them now, and maybe try to find way to get a tag cloud on my sidebar. It's hard, because the new blogger things are very difficult to navigate. If I do figure it out, I'll feel very accomplished indeed. This all started because I've got a 'follower' on my blog, and I'm like "whut?" because it's just someone who is using one my layouts. Whatever. And I originally was thinking that I wanted to put blogs that I followed on a little gizmo, and then started thinking about the labels. Again, whatever. (I actually might just go and start labeling my old posts... Moohahahaha...)

Finally. I'm thinking of starting a game of Assassin... possibly in the Res. Hall, maybe having it grow as each round progresses. Hopefully I'll have the guts/time to do it, because I think that the only thing more fun that doing the Assassin game would be being a moderator for the Assassin game. Hey, it beats studying...

Current Music: Morrison's / Toss the Feathers — TinWhistler
Instrumental

I was a Scarlet Letter

2009-01-15T14:15:00.000-08:00

So I spend my Creative Writing class counting how many times my teacher cusses. I've got a little tally thing in the front of my notebook. I was actually a little upset, because he didn't get to ten 'fuck's' like he usually does, and he only had one 'shit'. I'm worried that it's going diminish as time goes on, because we're not critiquing famous authors anymore, but our own work (it is a creative writing class...). So he might not want to be mean, and swearing can come off as mean. That being said, I really want to have a story with sex in it, because whenever he talks about sex it's "fucking," not "having sex." Fun times.

The tally as of this last class (so my fourth class), is 25 Fucks, 5 Shits and 2 Bastards.

God, life is good.

First week of classes were really intense. And they're all seminars, so I can't really ditch any like I could last semester (which is stupid, because I never wanted to ditch them {to be read as 'was too scared'} and now that part of me kind of wants to ditch every now and then {though not consistently and without reprieve}, I can't). But on the plus side, I have no discussions, so I have a lot more free time on my hands. In two days, I only have four hours worth of classes; which is sweet, I'm not going to lie. That adds up to about ten hours and twenty minutes of classes for the whole week. Isn't math awesome?!

Besides that, not much is going on. All is quiet on the boy front, unfortunately. How banal... that's probably the wrong way to use that word, but at the moment, I'm a little brain-dead. I suppose being brain-dead is a valid excuse for poor syntax. I digress. Boys, not so action packed. Classes, extreme to the max!

Today walking to classes there were three dear eating grass right next to the sidewalk. I was less than seven feet away from the closest one. Good times at Santa Cruz.

Current Music: Wake the Sun — The Matches
Every dawn gets its day like,
Every frown gets her way like,
Every step to the daylight keeps you stumbling on.
Every backward blackbird
Standing out through the rafters...

A much more savage place than you remember...

2009-01-06T17:07:00.000-08:00

New layout for the New Year! Queen Susan is the shit! View it here! Gotta love the Sideworld.

And this is the first time I have been planning ahead for future layouts. I really want to do a layout with this picture because I really really love it. This might be because I'm obsessed with Prince Caspian though. Maybe it'll fade... probably not. I seriously love that movie. Not just the movie, but the idea of going into another world. That's all I need. For cereal. The thought of going into a completely different universe and having a completely different reason for living sounds so cool. *sighs*

In other news, I sat next to a really cute guy during dinner today. And we had a conversation (that he initiated with me!) and it was very pleasant. He talked to me! I'm feeling really happy right now. What a nice second day of school, yes indeed.

On a slightly sadder note. There are no really hot guys in my Creative Writing class. There was a guy who looked like Josh Hartnet, and I was all "ooh!" but his voice was kind of fug, so I was moderately sad. But the dinner conversation made up for it. And the fact that there was this really old guy in the class and I thought he was the teacher and then he wasn't the teacher and I was all O.O! was awesome.

Current Music: The Call — Regina Specktor
It started out as a feeling,
Which then turned into a hope...

These are the voyages...

2009-01-04T14:03:00.001-08:00

The surrounding atmosphere today is rather glum. My dad's sick, and I'm busy preparing to go back to school (tomorrow; dread). Or, perhaps, it's just my mood that's glum. Despite the good weather I find myself drawing deeper and deeper into the house and becoming less and less sociable, through the means of the internet and else-wise. My only fear is that I am the one permeating the morosely-charged zeitgeist in the house. I hope not (though props to me for use of vocab... good to know that my education is not a complete waste, though I'm sure most of those words I learned while being an autodidact, rather than picking them up from my charming repertoire of coming-of-age stories that the mundane liberals who call themselves educators shoved {and continue to shove, to a certain extent} down our throats). I'm trying to be outwardly cheerful, despite the gloomy outlook this next quarter brings. I'd hate to be making the others around here feeling as down and out as I am. Since, frankly, this bored, listless feeling is not something I would wish on my worse enemy.

And it's not so much that I am sad, but rather I am somewhat let down. I've been doing a lot of thinking (as I am finding myself alone with little to do anyway), and I realized recently that I thought I'd be dead by now.

(Yeah, no shit... I'm all like "whoa" too. It's deep I tell you.)

Or at least be completely different. A figurative dead, I think. Not like a suicidal dead, but rather like I would have done something good, and different and necessary and I would have died in the process. I honestly believed that by the time I turned 19 (actually, by the time I turned 16), I would not be doing the same old dull stuff like school and work, but that I would be somewhere doing something and actually having a purpose. I think growing up with all these people telling me that events have a big impact and "change our lives" I'm expecting a big change in my life.

Also, I wish I was on a Star Trek. I think that would be fun... Moohahahah! These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise... And everyone there has a nice body, so therefore, if I was on it, I would have a nice body. My logic is not to be denied. *needs a nice body*

This is getting a little (and by 'little' I mean 'lot), too emo. Here's some funnies; because I can. The Invisible Rope and The Yoshimoto Cube. That's all I've got. :/

Current Music: None

No need to say goodbye...

2008-12-31T20:27:00.000-08:00

Just because every thing's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before...

Dear 2009,
Prepare to be amazed.

I'm so ready to grab this bull by the horns and pull it to the ground! That's right, I'm in a wrasseling mood. It could be because I know everyone in the whole wide world (okay, save someplace like Darfur, and the like) are having more fun than me on this New Years Eve. But it could also be because I have this strange fanatical hope that this year is going to be different, better. It's far-fetched, but maybe this year will be the one. While it can't be as bad as 2007 which was in all possible ways one of the worst years (yet), 2008 was not the AWESOME year I was hoping for. Probably because I set my standards a little too high, (though compared to 2007, who could blame me?).

Resolutions? Sort of... little things.

Walk. I love to do this, and I don't get to it enough (and I especially need it because I'm not doing Karate enough anymore).
Drink Tea. Again, something I love to do and never get enough of.
Read. See the above two for details about this.
Write. If I want to drop out of college, then this might be the only way to get the money I need to live the kind of life I want. How silly... :P
Communicate. I fall out of touch with my friends really easily, and I hate it. I have a cell phone plan where I can basically talk to whoever I want for free (I just can't text), and I never use it because I'm afraid of talking to people on the phone. This has got to change...
Study. Yeah. Studying when I get the material, rather than before the test would be a boon.
Live. I'm a little too reclusive for my tastes. That's gotta change.

Maybe I should also put "not pine over boys," but writing that wouldn't work out. And I probably wouldn't do it. I pine. It keeps me from doing stupid things with boys. If I'm pining over them, I'm not a) embarrassing myself, or b) getting pregnant. It's like a defense mechanism that leaves me moderately miserable. But it's still fun all the same.

Btw, in 2008, I graduated; started school again; had my first real job; started a vampire story; started a Robots vs. Humans story; only changed my blog's layout twice; went to my Senior Prom; memorized the entirety of the Lorax; stopped going to Karate; started going to Karate somewhere else; fell in love with a Red Prom Dress; wore a black one; 4.0'ed that bitch!; wanted a tattoo to start at my middle back and goes down to my mid-thigh; still want it; learned Kata's 9, 19 and 20; forgot Kata's 9, 19, 20; did the Shakespeare Festival thing; went to college; got a 2 on the AP Art Exam; danced around in a ~~Tripped-out Dolphin~~ Skipper costume; sold Jamba Juice; walked around in the pouring rain in my old high school uniform for Halloween; went to my first concert; went to Warped Tour; participated in the CTFL battle; fell in love with Captain America; went to the Grand National Rodeo for my Birthday; killed !Xobile the iPod; received Optimus Prima Dona the new iPod; looked at a Star Cluster, Jupiter (I think...), and the Moon through a 36-inch Refractor telescope; had a horrible week and a half when my parents were away during the end of school; was co-Salutatorian; realized that I am, in fact, abhorrently cute!; named my new MacBook Pro Billy; joined the Evil League of Evil in spirit as a Dr. Horrible Fan; watched and (re)fell in love with The Mikado, and decided when I start making movies, that's one of the things I'm going to do; turned 19; watched this guy I like from one of my classes start liking someone else; turned bitter; turned off; turned back on again in time for Christmas; grew another year older; got ready for 2009... :)

Let's wrassel this bitch...

Current Music: The Call — Regina Spektor
And then that word grew louder and louder,
Til it was a battle cry:
"I'll come back; when you call me.
No need to say goodbye."

They used to dance.

2008-12-28T13:18:00.000-08:00

Christmas Loot ftw. I got some DVD's, two boosk (Twilight, and Seven Years in Tibet, which I want to read so badly, but I'm painfully waiting until I get back to school, so it can be a diversion from the stress from my new classes). I also got a notebook, a planner (which I bought for myself... lame, mom... really lame), a Prince Caspian poster a 30 Seconds to Mars calender, and a pretty bitchin' new bag. A fine haul, indeed. A mighty fine haul!

And the notebook I got is black. And there was about 15 seconds then I considered calling it "Betsy's Black Book of Boys and Sex!" I think it will work out quite well... I'm not much of a journal keeper, but that's only because it's far too broad for me. If I narrow it down to a theme (say "boys and sex?" or at least mostly boys, and most likely little, if any sex) I might be better off. I think it'll be funtastical! :D An exploration so to speak, and sort of an offshoot of my "Observation Journal" which is mostly condensed to single sentence observations. This can be in depth looks at the menfolk in my life. How exciting? Very.

And I've only got another week until I start school. So, that's, you know, moderately screwed up. Since all my friends have basically a whole month. But I suppose getting back to school will be "good" for me, since I'm not really accomplishing anything as of late. All I've got going for me is a hopeful new layout for the lovely SideWorld, and a possible haircut. Other than that, the only real thing I need to do is start packing and organizing my shit to bring back to school. What a depressing thought.

Things to note;

I went to the Zoo. It was very Zoo-ey.
I have (re)developed a passionate love for TCoN; Prince Caspian.
I've done the New Year's Survey. But the people I tagged on fb aren't doing it, so I might post it here.
I know that them not doing it means they have actual lives, but come on!
I've got $100 to spend on something, but I don't know what. Thanks Grandma! :D
I've got 25 things on my 43 things.
New layout will be awesome and have color! Color FTW!
New layout will have Pevensies!
It's horrible realizing that you have no purpose. Avoid doing that using all humanly means possible. I cannot stress enough how shitty it feels to be me, and to have no purpose right now. Kind of a buzz kill for Christmas, but there you have it. Wish me luck getting over this gargantuan hump.

Current Music: Cowboys Like Us — George Strait
'Cause cowboys like us sure do have fun.
Racing the wind, and chasing the sun.

Tomorrow's what I'm waiting for, but I can wait a little more...

2008-12-24T09:59:00.001-08:00

So I was thinking about it, and before I never really thought that my family had 'traditions' that we did every Christmas (or in this case, Christmas Eve), but I was completely wrong. We have the normal things like going to Midnight Mass (which I'm going to, though my motives are not the most holy. I really just want to stay up late enough so when I actually go to sleep, I'll sleep through my dad going to the 11:30 Mass on Christmas day because he has to usher. I'm a horrible person, this I know). But we also have some slightly weird ones. Like making Eggy Cake which is not a cake, and is not entirely made of egg. It's a Strata of epic proportions, and for a long time it was the only thing that El Roberto (fraternal unit #1) would eat with eggs in it. It's actually really good, and my mom's pro at it after making it for about 24 years in a row.

We also do the very cool tradition of "hanging out." We chill at home, or we go to the movies, or we do something completely random and dumb and as un-productive as humanely possible. Today we were going to go to the Zoo (and tease the Tigers. Which is an inside joke with all of San Francisco), but the weather unfortunately is not going to allow it, so something will happen but we do not know what.

And the tradition of watching stupid stuff on the internet continues on!

And why not, I'll put this in the form of a Linkfest! Huzah.
So I really love Dorritos, because they're really good. But not nearly as good as Paintballing. How are Dorritos and Paintballing related? They're not. But I can set the rules for my blog. I'm not a good citizen I guess. It's a little like a double standard of sorts. Linkfest!s get off easy. Regular posts get pwned! ZomgBtw! Iceland is the only place on earth where Dominos serves a Reindeer Pizza. You don't believe me? Ask Thor. He'll tell all. But he probably doesn't know about San Francisco's epic Big Wheel race! which I totally want to take part in.

That was a little pathetic, Linkfest!-wise. But whatever.

Christmas came a little early this year! No joke. I got some decent grades ('decent' considering that I thought I failed quite un-triumphantly) that I'm actually really happy with. A- in Core, B in Psych, and a B- in Astronomy. Yeah, I thought I bombed that last one too... like I seriously did not even try to study for it because I was sure that I would not do well on it at all. Go me! :D And also, I got 3rd place in the 2nd still_epics Header Challenge which means that I'll be featured on the front page of the Community eventually!

Finally, I got to see my Mercy Girls yesterday! Probably the best tradition ever! :D We were brilliantly brilliant in every which way! And I wore my super scarf of awesome! (the thing has got to be like 15 feet long, at least!), and had a grand old time in the Haight-Ashbury district. It was quite exciting. We went to a bunch of stores that sold some variation of the same stuff, but we were still amused.

Current Music: Stays in Mexico — Toby Keith
Don't bite off more than you can chew
There's things down here the devil himself wouldn't do!
Just remember when you let it all go,
What happens down in Mexico, stays in Mexico...

It's always winter, but never Christmas...

2008-12-22T16:50:00.000-08:00

So when Twilight came out, when I saw it (the first two times, *dies from the moderately lame-ness of it all*) there was this commercial for Walmart and Coke. Which is fine, whatever. It was a really catchy, and fairly original commercial, but a few days later (so I guess around Thanksgiving time), I went to look for it on the internet, because it was fun and I wanted to show the folks. But I couldn't find it. All I found were a few forums saying "Where is it?" "I know the first couple of lines." etc. etc. Now I've got a strange (and wicked) theory that the people at Walmart saw all the forums, and instead of dismissing it as just another commerical, they gave it it's own site. And below the movie, there are links for a downloadable Mp3 version of the song as well as lyrics and sheet music. Also, Walmart now has it's own youtube channel. I'm sure I could come up with something horrible to say about how much they are using our free internet to get in our heads with their advertising babble, but I really can't. It's just kind of neat that we live in a world where we are so connected to everything.

And because of that interconnectivity (holy shit! That's a real word! spell check didn't get it! I knew it!! :D), people are scared that we're going to get less and less original and creative, but I really think we're not. A lot of creative ideas come from breaking out of captivity, but because of this strange, new era of connectedness and openness , to come up with some new, we have to break out of the captivity of our own minds. This is the future. It started out as a commercial, and now it's going to be something exciting and different. Joyous times indeed! When you stock up on joy, there's enough to go 'round.

So now that that's over. I've got a really important announcement! It is only a little over two days until Christmas. That means presents! And presents means something to blog about! Are you excited?! Yes! How much more excited can you be? The answer is 'none.' None more excited!

Current Music: In Like a Lion (Always Winter)
It's always winter but never Christmas
It seems this curse just can't be lifted
Yet in the midst of all this ice and snow
Our hearts stay warm cause they are filled with hope

And because it is my heart...

2008-12-18T20:55:00.000-08:00

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter; bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

I think it's safe to say that my mood is anything but normal as of right now. True facts, that. A very general — though minutely negative — malaise has settled here at the Weidner home. It's a little distressing, but to be expected because of the Christmas spirit. We all have things we need to get done, but it's impossible to, because it's our "vacation." Whatever... And I just realized I've only got two weeks until I start school again, which is a bummer of epic proportions. So my spirits are dampened somewhat. And I've still got gifts to get people. It's a little painful, really. >.<

I needs to practice Karate. I'm ded. DX And hey! extra icon. Why not?

Current Music: Your Body is a Wonderland — John Mayer
Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face,
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase,
You tell me where to go and,
Though I might leave to find it,
I'll never let your head hit the bed,
Without my hand behind it.

Will I be with you, or will I be among the missing?

2008-12-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Things day 7. Last day! Yay for no more spamming. This is such a chore.

I got to see Marilyn and Christine today at the Christmas fête of mostly adults who like to talk to me. Quite exciting indeed.
Ande became a fan of Antonio Vivaldi on facebook. The world is made right again.
Only twelve days until Christmas. ~~Oh Christ... that means 12 days to buy all my gifts. Yikes.~~
Now that the party's over, I don't have to really do anything (other than the aforementioned 'buying of gifts') at all. Mostly socialize and there's not homework, so I'm free as a bird. I think I put this one as a happy thing before but I keep getting reminded of it. How wonderful it is. :)

So that's it for the "Happy thing a day" meme. Now when I blog, most of it will actually have some purpose. Instead of "I said I'd do this meme," it will be "Something happened that made me actually want to write this." Which I think is so much more important in a blog. All the meme stuff that's been going around on facebook is fun, and passes the time, but I admit that it was pretty stupid of me to incorporate my regular blog into it. The Sideworld is far too dignified for that...

In other news. I really want to get kissed under mistletoe or on New Year's Eve... *le sigh*

Or just to share a scarf with someone who liked me back... *le melancholy sigh*

Current Music: What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? — Rufus Wainwright
I wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight,
When it's exactly twelve o'clock that night...

Don't save me...

2008-12-12T20:34:00.000-08:00

I've been on my feet and cooking for about nine hours. And while my mom and I got to talk (a lot) during those nine hours of cooking, we did not talk through all of it and I got to ruminate quite a bit on all my problems, shortcomings and dilemmas. It was not fun. The cooking was fun. Ruminating was not fun. And it's not like a problem in the back of my mind as I'm focusing on a really difficult task that involves most of my attention; it was focusing entirely on all the things that have been pissing me off about myself or others while literally watching a pot come to a boil while sitting on a stool. It was not exactly the most pleasant of experiences. But the cooking was fun. And my mom is great. Ruminations or otherwise. :/

What was my point again?

Oh yeah. Happy things day 6. I'm going to be so glad when these are over, because frankly, I'm tired of posting on the blog daily. It feels like a chore. :/

We bought Semifreddi's bread. Which is amazing. Read this story;
And the worst part is, I would probably be one of those dumpster diving kids. No joke. That bread is amazing. It's superb. Beyond measure the best bread the world has ever known.
It's 12/12.
Jericho is still the most awesome show, evar!

Current Music: None

Deck the halls...

2008-12-11T19:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Things; Day 5 (I screwed up yesterday and wrote that it was day 5, when it was really day 4. Horror of horrors).

This.
I was baking and cooking in the kitchen pretty much all day. Brownies, cookies and Curry. It's like God just smiled down on me, I kid you not. And my curry was brilliant. I'm not going to lie. I think I might have some more with eggs... nummy nummy eggs.

Actually. I really am craving eggs right now. And since the only reason I'm really writing this blog is to get the "Happiness Meme" thing, I don't have much to say. Although there have been some cool things going down in the Weidner house as of late. Things including but not limited to the putting up of Christmas lights (in the dead of night) by el hermano dos; the Christmas cookie bakeoff o destiny; and the continuing of the show Jericho with la madre. Fun times.

Oh Tannenbaum...

Current Music: None

Love come save me! Love come save me soon!

2008-12-10T22:15:00.000-08:00

Happy Things; day 4.

I'm home.
My dad made steaks for dinner on our outdoor grill and I was standing out there with him, and he opens the top of the grill and it's hot and fiery in the grill, which is psuedo normal. But when he takes out the steaks, THEY'RE ON FIRE!! It was amazingly cool, I'm not going to lie.
I'm very very home. It's so homey here at home!
I found a bunch of old Christmas icons I had buried deep in the folders, and they're awesome!
Dood. I'm home.
My mom introduced me to the TV show, Jericho and I'm absolutely in love with it. I've watched about 3 episodes but I'm dying for more. I might watch another one right now. I'm just that intense about it. Fo'sho etc., etc., etc.
Oh my God. I'm really home.

So being home is really kind of awesome. All manner of awesome actually. The awesomeness of it all is just killing me. And while I'm not actually dead, the statement still stands. I'm slowly dying of awesome. It is like the Cancer of Awesome that is slowly eating away at my vitals. That was morbid. Not awesome, morbid. But I hope it explains and justifies itself with the present degree of awesome that is emanating from me being home.

So this last week and a half really sucked; I'm not going to lie. But now that they're over and I have no homework or finals I'm free as a bird. I'm planning on keeping as buys as possible. 1st quarter of college is over, and I cannot describe how horrible it was. But if I distract myself with Christmas, things will turn out grandly! Just wait and see! :D No boys; no schoolwork; no real worries.

Life really doesn't get any better than this. And soon I get to go shopping. This is the first year where it's been entirely my money (as earned from my summer job) buying the Christmas gifts. Before it was my money as handed to me by my parents. Now it's mine! All mine! And I've got a lot. I might splurge a little for the Maternal Unit. She totally deserves it. And it's not like I'm using the money right now anyway. I don't have to pay for taxes or gas. It's pretty cool, really. Giftiepoos are so much fun to give! I really cannot handle it. I think I might just like being generous — like, really like giving out gifts and making people happy — but I'm getting to a point where I think I'm abnormally into giving gifts and trying to make people happy. Is that a bad thing? I wonder...

Although I'm sorry to say that this is not going to be my first romantic Christmas. Shame that, I was looking forward to mistletoe kisses and whatnot. But it's okay. I've gone through 19 (yes, 19; my first Christmas was when I was 0, so this will be my 20th Christmas. Go figure) Christmases, I think I can go through one more without ever being kissed.

Current Music: You Never Stop Loving Somebody — Big & Rich
You never stop loving somebody,
No matter what you tell yourself.
You never stop loving somebody,
You just start loving somebody else...

Come break me down...

2008-12-09T10:52:00.000-08:00

Guuuhh... I need to clean my computer files. I've got this folder called "Unsorteds" where I've just been sticking everything that accumulates on my desktop, and I really need to go through it. Usually I get it cleaned out by 200-250 items, but it's has over 500. Task one for my epic 'things to do over break' list. This list is epic, my friends. And it involves crazy stuff like going back to Christie's for Karate for only 3 weeks. That's going to be intense. I'm just going to hopefully jump back into it. Fingers crossed.

I'm also really excited, because I don't have to do any homework over the break. This is the first time my break has not been marred by stupid things like essays, or practice problems or books in a very long time. It's really liberating! It's almost like this is the first time I get to enjoy my break completely, without that nagging, annoying feeling of needing to get something done in the back of my mind. After this final, I won't have to worry about anything, ever again.

Happy things. Day 3

My roommate, Huyen just woke up today saying "Okay! I could NOT put Breaking Dawn down last night!"

But in all honesty, this day really kind of sucked. I kept trying to study and couldn't do anything useful at all. So I watched a bunch of The Office with the roommates and the hall-folk. I tried packing and realized I had a bunch of shit that I don't use at all. It's really pointless. And I keep getting reminded of the fact that the guy I like has a girlfriend through various mediums as the internet and his physical presence and guys in general being around. And I got my Psych grade back and ended up with a worse grade than my first test. I'm really pissed because I spent all the weekend and a good three days before studying and I did horribly. What the fuck? Maybe I'm just not cut out for college. And my final for Astronomy is going to suck. Shit... shit shit shit. Fudge.

Yeah, today kind of sucked. Shit...

Current Music: Walking In the Air — Chloe Agnew
We're walking in the air,
We're floating in the midnight blue.

It's a little like dreaming...

2008-12-08T10:18:00.000-08:00

One final done, after a whole weekend of studying, I have to say "studying actually helps!" No joke! So there is a little sarcasm there, but mostly irony, because no, on the whole I do not study. I've been pulling B's without it (both in high school, as well as here in college), but that tricky, elusive A was always a little harder, but not impossible. I just cheated a little and studied. XP I do hope I got an A on this one, that would be brill for the holidays. But now I'm back to studying again, though probably not as effectively because Astronomy is so hard. I'm just not a science person. I'm just going to review the practice test that is only a quarter length of the full test (if even that much... we better round down and say it's like one-fifth of the actual test.

If you've got a Mac, this is ridiculously cool! I'm not going to lie. I wish I had this earlier, because it would have made everything bad so much better! Because seriously, having that going on in the background of an essay would have just made me so much more eager to stay on the computer. :P Though staring at it might not be the best thing for me.

Here's something for Hannah. I can never take anything seriously, it's a curse, I tell you. A fun-loving, serious-thing-hating curse. It's especially bad when serious things come about; like the man-candy of my desiring. Because that's serious business indeed. :P

Ah. Daily Happy Things, day 2.

I got a 96 on my Psych Paper, which should help my grade some, if the A on my final doesn't work out (though it will!). I was worried because I devoted a sum total of about 35 minutes on it.
I've been doing a lot of my little Chibi drawings, and sticking them outside on the wall of my dorm room's hall.
We've been having a little bit of an Office marathon here in the dorm. It's been kind of epic, since I wasn't really a big Office fan before (and I probably won't be one after this), but it's really got some amusing parts.
Hot guys are fun to look at.

Also;

Your rainbow is strongly shaded violet.

What is says about you: You are a creative person. You appreciate beauty and craftsmanship. You are patient and will keep trying to understand something until you've mastered it.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

Oh yeah...

Current Music: None

Riding in the midnight blue...

2008-12-07T11:01:00.001-08:00

I'm taking a well deserved break from studying (yeah, started at 9:30 when I woke up). It's quite pleasant actually. I can look at the stuff I've accomplished, and then the stuff I have yet to accomplish and feel monumentally chagrined. Oh woe, oh woe. I've been slowly plodding through my Psych books with the outlines my teacher gave, trying just to grasp the basics of it. I'm also glancing at my Astronomy book, and then sort of hiding behind something large, so it will not find me and eat my brain, while simultaneously getting sick over the practice exam my teacher posted. Blargh and glum. It is a strange time to be me indeed.

It really sucks, my final for Psych is 8:00 tomorrow morning (early as hell? yes!), and then my final for Astronomy is Tuesday from 7:30-10:30pm (late as hell? good lord, yes). I'm moderately concerned at the last final, as in the evenings I am a little more retarded than in the mornings, and retardation is a good way to screw up a final. I think it'll turn out okay; I have been studying more than I did for the last two midterms, so that should help some. I'll just be happy to get a C in that class, seriously. That's all I really want for Christmas. A C in Astronomy. And in Psych.

Oh, and a meme.
➀ Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
➁ Do this everyday for a week without fail.
➂ Tag 8 of your friends to do the same (not happening, because it's on blogger. Mahah!)

My happy thing? I finished some more of my Vampire story between study sessions. It's got a lot of UST and I think is kind of fun. More fun than Twilight; I'm seriously hoping that it will appeal to the same general audience, (so I can make lots of monies!). While that's a horrible thing to say, it's fairly true, monies would be good. Especially if I fail my finals.

I do wish I had more interesting things to blog, but alas! I do not. This week really sucked, so I'm just looking forward to going home. I'm really sick of college, to tell you the truth. Not that I don't like it here, I'm just ready to get out for longer than a few days. Because honestly? this week really, really sucked in most ways imaginable. Woeful woe. :(

Study study... woe woe.

Current Music: Walking in the Air — Chloe Agnew
We're walking in the air.
We're dancing in the midnight sky.
And everyone who sees us
greets us as we fly

...and if you look at it, you see a dot.

2008-12-03T21:00:00.001-08:00

Look at the far, right beam of light. It's the pinkish one, with the speck of dust. Do you see the speck of dust? That little speck of dust that looks like an error in the picture? A little white dot that doesn't exactly belong?

That's here. That's home. That's us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives... lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.
-Carl Sagan Reflections on a Mote of Dust

We had our 'last' Astronomy class today, and it's not that big of a deal because it only lated ten weeks but when Raja read what Carl Sagan wrote it kind of got to me. I love and hate when things are put into perspective like that. Love it because, really? It's cool. But I hate thinking that I'm that small. It's humbling, but in a bad way. Why would humans be capable of such large and expansive emotions and then be forced into small a space. My imagination expands further than the farthest universe, I'm not going to lie. But then my imagination is confined into something so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

I would probably be blogging this in a completely different attitude and shade of light if today hadn't sucked as hard as it did. The day started off well, (really well, actually), but then got incredibly bad, incredibly fast. It's amazing how something "small an insignificant in the grand scheme of things" can make someone feel so bad. Bad days suck, don't they?

Sigh. In other news, I've been trying to write a lot more than I have been. Maybe soon I'll have an actual book length something or other to show off with. I'm hoping for that! Especially because if I get one done, I'll be able to start on some more. I still have the ultimate goal of writing a book and getting it published before I graduate. I've just got to pick one of my story ideas and stick with it! Vampires, Centaurs, Alternate Universes, Superheroes? The list goes on, but I think I'll get one eventually. Wish me luck! :)

... cherish that Pale Blue Dot, the only home we've ever known.

Current Music: None

And my heart's keeping time to the speed of sound!

2008-12-02T14:41:00.000-08:00

Link Fest! With a Twilight theme!

Vampires are cold. Liquid Nitrogen Cold. (Did I ever tell you guys that on my astronomy field trip the tour guide poured liquid nitrogen on our hands. It was scary as fuck. I kept trying to explain it to my crazy parents but they didn't believe me). But anyway, it's weird how vampires are so cold, but they are also so hot, but not that kind of hot. More like this kind of hot, which is more of a nerdy hot, but nerds are really hot. No questions asked. Especially nerds who love their mom.

But I don't only like nerds (and Snoop Dog... especially when he cooks with invisible cognac). I like NICE GUYS! Nice guys who are vampires is a plus. Edward Cullen has taught me that I need a sexy vampire boyfriend. And that's this week's Twilight themed Link Fest.

Let's take an 40 minute long break for a POWER OUTAGE!!! I was in the middle of blogging and the power went out, which sent the internet down which ended with a frenzy of boring boring. It was quite boring. And I had the chance to hang out with the man-candy of my desiring, but I didn't. I've lost all my bravery, methinks. Which is sad. I wanted some positive developments to happen before winter break, and things are looking grim. The RA says that this isn't normal, so the inquisitive part of me is getting excited about the possibility of attacks on the school from people from an alternate dimension who are out to find me and take me away into a far more exciting place than this. I'm ready for something exciting... trust me, anything would be better than this. No questions asked.

Never mind, power's back off again... shit. Powers off again. Power's on again. How interesting.

And we just watched Hairspray, and I just sang every song without stop. It was pretty ballin.' I'm not gonna lie. I've got no life, but I sure as hell can sing my heart out. Good mornin' Baltimore.

Current Music: You're Gonna Go Far, Kid — The Offspring
Now dance this dance like you never had a chance...

God rest you merry Hippogriffs!

2008-11-30T09:59:00.000-08:00

So the Thanksgiving season is over, (as proclaimed in the last post), and therefore now is the season of the Holidays! It's the Holiday Season! The season where we go all out and flip out about Holidays! I'm flipping out. Not only because it's the holiday season (and 25 more days until Christmas!), but also because Chanukah and Solstice are on the same day (well, night). Is that not the coolest thing ever?!? I'm kind of jealous of the Wiccas and the Jews. Rofflewaffle indeed.

So I get a little amped up for the Holidays. I can't lie about that.

So most of this is coming from the "I only have a week and a half of school left!" bug that I've caught! I DO only have a week and a half of school left. A week from Wednesday I'm coming home and am done for this quarter. I've got finals and stuff beforehand (including a final at 7:30-10:30 at night. wtf?), but once those are over (and they will end eventually), I'm done! Completely done! It's brilliant! I love college!

PS: I saw Twilight again. This is bordering on insane. I'm not even a Twilight fan... *dies*

The Holidays are here again... :)

Current Music: None

On a balcony in summer air...

2008-11-28T15:38:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday, Sideworld! My blog (Sideword, for those of you tuning in from the Facebook) is 5 years old. Huzah! 5 years of writing random stuff on the internet and not really working on homework. It's been splendiferous! Ah, memories. It seems like only yesterday that I was doing my random ass testing and working on a really shitty layout, but now it's brilliant. All the effort and energy spent to this has amounted to a little less than nothing, and yet I'm still at it. How about that? But it seriously is a nice-ish blog. When did that happen? Ah... sunrise, sunset. I'm so proud.

Okay, I seriously took for granted how nice it was to be at home. I mean, I was having a lot of fun at the dorm (I saw Twilight twice in one week... that's hardxcore fun), but I've just completely sunk into this really comfortable bubble over here. Everything is just so... comfortable! It's awesome sauce!

And everybody was telling me that the first time you go home is awkward and weird, but it really wasn't. I just settled back into the family groove, (brilliantly I might add!). But it's been great. And I love my bed, so that makes up for any weirdness that might occur. And I spent all day yesterday and the day before cooking and cleaning, so that has taken my mind off of strange family things. Awesome.

Things I love about being home;
A comprehensive list of everything that is most beautiful!
And general abuse of the word 'beautiful'
By the Infamously fabulous Betsy.

My bed; this is probably the most beautiful thing of all.

The shower; has it always been this high pressured? Because damn! it's beautiful!!

My mom's cooking; beauty!

Coffee; I never drank it at school, because it wasn't beautiful Peet's French Roast!

Not having to wear headphones... my music is more beautiful when it isn't directly inserted into my brain.

Parent's new car. Used, but still really beautiful... *wibbles at the beauty*

Having a printer that works. Mine unbeautifully died.

The fact that 'unbeautifully' is a word. Damn that's rad!

Being able to not-so-beautifully dance alone in my room without fear of repercussions

Hearing el hermano practice singing down the hall. Eh. I guess that's beautiful in its own right.

All the pictures of my beautiful friends on the walls.

My beautiful kitty! Fuck yes!

The other four beautiful kitties. They are most awesome.

The ~~puppywubbywigglewuvver~~ Poodle. :P

Really nice toilet paper. GLORIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL!!! (Yes, these things matter)

It's something beautiful thing indeed. :)

(Also, for those of you who understand the code, the hibiscus has been updated at long last with some new exciting things. Man-candy things! Things of a very exciting nature! How exciting? Very! Is Betsy immature? Yes. How immature? Very! :D)

(Also, also; since today is the day after Thanksgiving, I've started using iconseeyou's "All I want for Christmas" icons and am going to try to do one every couple of days. I've got some from last year, and some from this year. See if you can spot mine in this year's batch! It's silly indeed. This may mean smaller posts to justify it, but I'm totally okay with that :P It's my blog. I can do what I want).

Current Music: Love Story — Taylor Swift
Cause you were Romeo, I was the scarlet letter.
And my daddy said, "stay away from Juliet!"
But you were my everything to me;
I was begging you, please don't go!

The sun'll come out...

2008-11-25T18:37:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited for break, I cannot even comprehend it. My excitement is bordering on gargantuan! It's silly. But it's also kind of cool because afterwards I only have like a week of actually school, finals on the monday and tuesday after and then I'm done.

Things are going so quickly over here.

And my schedule for next quarter is finalized! I'm taking Creative Writing, Intensive Elementary Italian and an art history course on the Venetian Renaissance. I am such a nerd! I'm also really happy not to be having ANY math or ANY science or ANY thing statistical at all. Psych and Core and Astronomy covered all those things and I ~~was~~ am kind of miserable. I just am not that kind of thinker. I'm really feeling these next classes... they're way more up my alley. I mean, I am hoping to OWN!!! at Creative Writing. And I think I'll be okay (if not awesome) at Italian, just because of all my french experience, and it's a Immersion sort of thing; she's only going to be speaking in Italian. That's going to be so intense! (hence it's name). And Venetian Renaissance? Fuggedaboutit... I think that's going to be really fun. I can't wait! :D

The crowd is curious... but well behaved. Happy Thanksgiving all. I'll hopefully be able to post some photos of my adventures with la famille and the Merman. Peace.

And since it's never too early; Peace on earth; hopefully an iPhone; goodwill to man. The holidays are here. :)

Current Music: Tim McGraw — Taylor Swift
So when you think 'Tim McGraw'
I hope you think 'my favorite song,'
The one we danced to all night long,
With the moon like a spotlight on the lake...